Muvvers' Day

Nanny, Little Fink and Shouty Grandad catching crayfish.

Mothers' Day started with a lovely gift from Little Fink, a little light metal detecting with Nanny on her own exclusive field (it was a Victorian sewage works in 1881!), then all home for shepherd's pie cooked by Little Fink. After dinner we decided to go and walk off our dinner and throw in a bit of crayfish catching. One of my traps went missing last week so I've only been getting 3-4 a day. Nanny and Little Fink took a couple of crab nets (shaped like Supadrug shopping baskets) and a packet of bacon and caught 9 monsters. I with my high tech authorised and approved crayfish trap, caught - zero!

Great fun was had by all and we made it home before the heavens opened! 

Nine crayfish cooked and ready to be peeled, prior to joining their brethren in the freezer - nearly got enough for a feast!

Candles, Traps and the return of the Mercy Dash.

It's a picture taken in my parent's bathroom at the weekend. It's shows a hard skin scraper and a candle.
Nanny (my mum) lives with Shouty Grandad (my dad) so you can imagine I've seen some odd things in their bathroom from time to time! nanny looked at me with a straight face and said, once she'd taken the hard skin off her feet, she rubbed them with a candle which makes them nice and soft. ???? (Well how come she still needs the foot scraper then?)

Little Fink (11 yo daughter) and I replaced the crayfish traps in the local river on Tuesday, we'd tried to get permission to locate them at a more secluded spot but there was no one around to ask so we used our regular place. Wednesday, Nanny and I went to check on them and 1 trap was missing. It looks like the rain had swollen the river causing one trap to move with the water. It appears the anchor string broke and fell in the water allowing the trap to become beached on the shallow gravel. A branch had recently been broken of a nearby tree (just call me Miss Marple) so I surmise that someone took the branch and manoeuvred the trap out of the water and away. . However, the loss of the trap was almost worth it, just to see Nanny knee deep in the river searching for the missing trap wielding an extendible decorating pole with a big hook taped to the end. (3 crayfish in the remaining trap, killed, cooked and frozen)

On Sunday I had arranged to go metal detecting with Nanny, the fields our club has permission to dig on are about an hours drive away. Hold that thought......
Many years ago, I used to share a house with KT, we were young and daft, had parties and loads of fun. We encountered the phenomenon known to us as The Mercy Dash. This was generally accepted to refer to the urgent trip to the toilet required after a night on the beer - if you know what I mean. It's been 13 years since KT and I shared a house and I had forgotten about the fabled Mercy Dash.....until Sunday.
So imagine, if you will, me - we've been walking the fields for an hour, no loos for miles around, then suddenly it's Mercy Dash time. Oh boy did we get home quick! The downside of metal detecting.

8 Crayfish down! Hundreds to go.

Ok, so now I have caught 8 crayfish, eaten 3, 2 frozen ready for a feast and 3 in the freezer awaiting despatch. I'm really looking forward to cooking properly with these, although I have to admit, they do give me the heeby jeebys when they are alive and flapping their tails and claws!

Just spent a lovely afternoon with Shouty grandad and Nanny, rootling through old photos and listening to Shouty Grandad's antics with his recent bed purchase. He's currently waiting for a £50 'goodwill' gesture from the bed guy and 2 new beds to be delivered - Don't ask!

Yabbie Dabbie Dooo

I caught them - I caught them! vicious little blighters they are too and they don't half crawl fast. They are currently residing in the freezer to render them insensible (as per RSPCA instructions) then I'll cut the nervous system, removing the alimentary canal (gut) prior to boiling them for 10 mins and scoffing them with hubby and daughter.
The traps are repositioned to see if i can get a few more for friends and family!

Just stop it!

This morning at 6am I awoke on a beautiful sunny morning to the sound of the cat being sick on the landing and 4 young magpies taking it in turns to dismantle the safety net around Little Fink's trampoline. I cleared up the cat sick (funny how you get desensitized to things?) then checked on the magpies. They had exhausted the fun to be had in picking lumps of safety foam off the poles around the trampoline (garden looked like it had been snowing!) and were now checking out every nook and cranny for insects and grubs. I was starting to warm to their inquisitive natures when, one of them went into next door's garden, pecked at something on the floor. It was having a great time flicking and pecking this bit of wood, it picked the wood up in it's beak and flew onto my shed roof. It suddenly dawned on me, it wasn't a bit of wood, it was a turd.

The bloody magpies have been stealing dog poos from next door's garden and putting them on my shed roof. Oh good grief!

New Who, Bambi and Truffle Dog

Well, well, well. There you have it, the new Who, not Jeeves as he claimed "I told you, it's me, I've been up all night polishing the TARDIS!". I'll reserve judgement till 2010 although I did think he had a crazy look in his eyes and mad arms.

I'm going to miss David so much, I bet Matt won't be able to make me cry at the end of an episode I've seen a hundred times (Girl in the Fireplace and when Rose is left on Bad Wolf Bay).

Anywhoo! today Mr Fink mostly spent the day at home, trying to breathe, hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon and he can get back to normal. It's been 3-4 weeks since he took ill.

Little Fink and I went for a tramp in the woods (he didn't mind) with most of The Glums. Little Fink, Marsha, Bambino and Bambi (Mr Glum) on their bikes, me following along behind with The Glum's dog, Pongo. Pongo likes to mark every clump of grass, mark on the road and stone with a sniff and a wee. I called him Truffle Dog, which i think he quite liked, although, if he had found one, I wouldn't eat it as he would have wee'd on that too!

As i was walking along I encountered a couple with an Airdale, it had mud all round it's chops and i said, "He looks like he has eaten half the forest!". The owner explained that the airedale likes to carry BIG sticks in it's mouth. He described how the dog will carry a 10 foot stick/branch in it's mouth and 'take out' passing joggers with it as he walks past.

We loaded the bikes, kids and dog into the cars and set off for Mrs Glum's yummy shepherd's pie, as we were travelling along the dark country road, a deer bounded across the road in front of Bambi's car, a stunning sight and a close shave for the deer.

Not more than 50 yards along, I caught sight of a deer in my headlights, lying on the verge at the side of the road, it seemed like it was struggling to stand. I flashed the headlights at Bambi and pulled over, we investigated and as we walked to the deer, it was clear it had been hit by a car and had been left injured and unable to stand. I phoned the police and gave them the story, they said they would send out the deer warden to deal with it.

Little Fink recons that when she grows up, she is going to be a vet and I am going to be an animal rescuer, she said she will even buy me a van to collect the animals in. (She did suggest a push bike but I declined her kind offer)!

You Call that PRUNING?

Picture the scene - My kitchen window obscured by 2 enormous Magnolia shrubs, at least 3-4 metres high. I had asked Mr Fink not to cut them back last year as I thought it might help the magnolia grandiflora to flower (the year before that, he had pruned them with the lawn strimmer).

Anywhoo, I asked Mr Fink to cut it back as the foliage and the darker nights were causing me to turn the lights on in the kitchen from about 4pm.

I supervised Little Fink and Abu Dhabi playing on Abu's sleepover - don't even ask what Big Mac was up to! When I went back into the kitchen about 40 minutes later, someone had removed my magnolia trees and replaced them with 2 inch thick tree stumps. Oh my goodness, all the branches, leaves, buds...all gone.

If I had gone to him and asked for a haircut and he had done that, I would have claimed assault and sued him.

Actually it looks great, I've hung bird feeders all over the branches and the real fun was in the sight of Little Fink and Abu Dhabi jumping on the tarpaulin full of shrubbery, trying to crush it down so it would fit in the car to go to the dump!

Thanks Mr Fink - I can see again!

Next week, helping our 80 year old neighbour clean out the gutters!

or, "I'll hold the ladder, you climb up!"

Doctor Who ROCKS!

Wasn't Doctor Who fab last night. Shame about Catherine Tate, when I watch her all I can think about are the characters she plays in her TV series, hopefully this will pass and I'll see her more as Donna as time goes on. The truth is, you can't beat Billie. Ho Hum.

Wow, the school holidays go so fast. 2 weeks of fun and travels. Little Fink spent the first week campervanning in Tewkesbury with Nanny and Shouty Grandad. The place had been flooded again (3rd time since Summer) so they stayed in the car park of the Hawbridge Inn, Appley and had a wonderful time. Shouty Grandad was on top form as usual and has been scavenging and recycling whilst on his trip. Apparently he met with some resistance in Tewkesbury when he wanted to find out the time to see how long he had left on his parking meter. He approached one local and asked/shouted, "Excuse me, what time is it?". The man just kept walking despite Shouty Grandad's repeated question. The next person just threw up his hands and ran away when Grandad asked him. (I know how the man felt, I want to do that some times!) The second week Little Fink and I have been visiting our friends - Little Fink has been sleeping over, we went for a lovely walk around the lakes near BigMac's house, saw cormorants, butterflies and 3 big furry bumblebees on the ground. 2 of which had apparently stung the ground nearby and died. We are very puzzled as to why? (EVEN more strange - on Doctor Who last night (series 4 Episode 1) Donna mentioned the mystery of the disappearing bees? Cue Twilight Zone music!) We had The Oracle and her daughter (Loo) round for lunch and we went to see the 3D Hannah Montana concert at the cinema. (Review - Brilliant, I really enjoyed it, sang along to the songs I knew and enjoyed the interspersed documentary bits - Miley Cyrus is a brilliant role model for girls Little Finks age. All power to Hannah.) On Thursday we went to Brightlingsea near Jaywick (see lead photo) for a beach day, (me, Little Fink, Shouty Grandad, Nanny and the metal detector). NANNY FOUND TREASURE. A 1954 ha'penny. She was like Howard Carter opening King Tut's tomb! Brightlingsea is a lovely place and needs a return visit for some further exploration. As the tide went out it revealed a gooey sticky green-black mud flat. Little Fink was instantly attracted to it. By the end of the day she was covered from knee to toe and hand to elbow in it. As we walked back to the 'dog tap' to wash her down, a passer-by thought she was wearing black boots! She had the best time. It was very refreshing to just let her get filthy without having to keep saying, "mind this, mind that, don't get mucky" etc etc. Very liberating.

This weekend it has snowed and Mr Fink and Little Fink have already been out, had a snowball fight, made 2 snowmen and come back in for breakfast, all by 9.30am!

What a fortnight - made special by all our friends.

White stuff all around

News just in from York (Linton on Ouse actually), a decent amount of snow fell last night and Mr fink and i have just been outside for a snowball fight. Yes I know it's not 9am yet! Mr fink and I had intended to lie in wait for Mr Fogg coming back from the shop but we got bored waiting for him and turned on each other! Good fun all round. Should we be worried that Mr Fogg has not come back yet? Nah, he'll be fine!

It's True

When I am in a silly mood, I like to tell my daughter very important facts about the world around us.

For instance, one day we were travelling in the car on one of our adventures and talk turned to the animals of Africa.

I started to describe one of the lesser known carnivorous cats of the Savannah.

The Jagular.

The Jagular is cousin to the Leopard and the Cheetah. It is a heavy cat and has patches of dark brown on golden fur, it's tail is thick and long and helps it balance. The Jagular is the laziest predator on the African Plains. It does not run up and catch it's dinner, it doesn't even hide in the grass and ambush it's prey. It climbs up trees and waits. When a suitable prey animal comes along for shade in the heat of the day, the Jagular drops out of the tree on top of the animal, which is so surprised that it immediately drops dead from shock. (Imagine what you would feel like if a Leopard sized fur coat fell out of a tree on you in the middle of the day in Africa!)

When the Jagular has eaten his fill, he is too fat to get back up into the tree. How does he get up there? Jagular trampolines of course. You can see them, bouncing up and down like Tiggr, trying to get enough height-th to get back into the tree. When they get back up, they spnd much of their time asleep from the exertion. The next time you watch a program about the mammals of Arfica, watchout for the trampolines, there's sure to be a Jagular around.

I wonder when Mr Attenborough will make a program about them?

We're having a baby

The Barton's are expecting. Grandad-with-the-beard-on gave Little Fink some grow-your-own dinosaurs or Triops. We followed the instructions and added the dry eggs to the tank. Our Triop hatched and has grown from an egg the size of a pin point to the little belter you see above (its body, not including the feelers at either end, is about 20mm long). It spends a lot of it's time upside down filtering the water for food (it has a food pellet held up to it's mouth in the video). If you look really carefully on it's right hand side, where the curved body meets the straight tail, you will see a mass. These are eggs. "Oooh it's a girl" Little Fink. "Maybe not!" quoth I. The Triop is an hermaphrodite so has fertilised it's own eggs - imagine me explaining THAT one to Little Fink. So it just remains for Little Fink and I to say - Thank you Grandad Bob for a brilliant Christmas present.

Something to Melt Your Brain

My best friend, "KT Wong" moved to Fremantle, Western Australia 18 months ago. She was explaining how hot is has been over there at Christmas time (the hottest place on earth one day over Christmas) and I had trouble getting my head round the following...

It is cold here in England, I have my heating turned up to 22 degrees C to keep warm. It is hot in Aus. (about 40-44 degrees C) and KT has her air con turned up to 25 degrees C to keep cool. HOW DOES THAT WORK?

Anyway, do I feel sorry for KT and her hubby sitting in the spa all day to keep cool? (Nah) Wandering off to the country to spend time in their place there? Not to mention the resident wild possum that lives in the boat in the roof of the outhouse. (Why are all my friends sooo eccentric?)

Autumnwatch

I've just been watching Bill Oddie and Kate Humble's Autumnwatch from the other night (courtesy of Mr Fink's latest gadget - Skyplus - Mr Fink is a uber-gadget guy).

Anyway, I was watching the segment where Ms Humble was trying to tag Whooper swans.

I'll set the scene - Kate was togged up in chest high waders, holding an 8ft long pole with a fierce swan hook on the end.

Kate and her 6 or 7 male swan catchers were wading through chest-high reeds herding the family of swans ready for capture. One by one the swans were chased down, caught by the neck on the big hooks, trussed up and put in swan bags. Once all had been captured, the scientists proceeded to find out what sex the birds were, measure the beak length with calipers, wrap the birds up in tarpaulins and weigh them, put rings on each leg and lastly, take a picture of the birds unique beak pattern. Then they released the birds back into the wild.

It suddenly occurred to me. Can you imagine these birds later on in the day, meeting up with their swan mates...

"Blimey, you'll never guess what happened to me today. I was abducted by aliens, they did medical experiments on me, probed and prodded me, recorded me and put me back in the marsh."

Swan friend replies, "Yeah yeah Nigel, of course you were, we believe you." All the other swans have a really big laugh at Nigel's expense and Nigel spends months in Swan psychotherapy, only to be accidentally captured off the coast of Greenland by the Goosewatch Team a year later.

He is never the same again.