A Brilliant Holiday

We had a wonderful time on holiday, thank you for all your sun dances, they worked, we had 3-4 days of glorious weather.

Obviously, "What goes on tour, stays on tour" but here's a brief glimpse into what we (Mr Fink, Little Fink, Me, Abu Dhabi, Big Mac and 'Fries'- Big Mac's special friend!)

As you know we went to Cornwall, camping in a tent, we were on a little farm just outside Luxulyan, near the Eden Project and St Austell (where Mr Fink and I were married in 2001).

Saturday - Got up at 6 to pack the car. trailer and packed lunch, set off at 8am and arrived at 2.30pm. when Big Mac arrived she realised after setting up camp that she had accidentally set the cool box with the weeks supplies in to 'warm' rather than 'cool' so everything inside had a general 'sweaty' appearance. euw. The giggle point of the night was....What's the difference between a Madras and a Chicken Tarka? The Tarka is a little Otter!!

Sunday - Spent the day in Looe, the girls and Mr Fink went crabbing. The Finks later went to Torpoint and Rame Head (coastguards are really funny there). The lanes got smaller and more scary with names like Donkey Lane and Cliff Lane. when we arrived back at camp, has a little drinky with the grown-ups, went to bed amid howling rain and fierce wind - and that was just Big Mac!! Giggle Point - Little Fink, "It's raining cats and frogs!"

Monday - Rained for most of the day but the radio held out hope of good weather to come. We had lunch in a pub which the Addams Family would have felt at home in. We went to The Lizard, what a top place, highly recommended, so wild and fresh, where we met up with Big Mac and Fries and AbuDhabi. we checked out the lighthouse then The Finks went off road again. we encountered 2 hares at close quarters, one of which jumped 4-5 feet in to the hedge next to the car. amazing! During our safari, Mr Fink realised we were very low on petrol and were in lanes nowhere near civilisation. I opened up the sat nav and directed up to a Jet petrol station. As we turned the corner, there was no Jet, only the back yard of a deserted farm. Mr Fink was very worried. We managed to find an Asda petrol station just in time. We also went to Goonhilly, which was rubbish! Giggle Point - Blue portaloo at the side of the road, will forever be known as Doctor Poo and The Turdis!

Tuesday - Went to St Ives, too busy for me so I stayed on the beach! The girls enjoyed playing in the sea and shopping. We saw a seal in the harbour too. Giggle Point - On the way home we saw Hell's Hole, a place we had visited on our honeymoon. Who said Mr Fink isn't romantic?

Wednesday - Sunny! Took the girl's to Watergate Bay - so beautiful and wild. Big Mac and Fries went to the Eden project (she is a square allotment head!) Boogie boards were purchased and waves conquered! we saw someone had made a sofa out of sand, complete with a cushion! Next time we go to the beach, i would like a sand chair please. Big Mac and Fries cooked a lovely BBQ, yum yum. We enjoyed a few ciders around the warm BBQ and Big Mac and I had a giggling fit! Giggle Point - I'm not giving fashion tips to Al anymore!

Thursday - Sunny/Cloudy. We spent the morning on camp mooching about, in the afternoon we went to Mevagissy. This is now one of my favourite places! We enjoyed the shops, beach, crabbing, seafood and aquarium (tiny) where we saw the largest lobster in Cornwall and the largest oyster in Britain, called Shelley! a brilliant day. Giggle Point - Mr Fink calls it Megavissy!

Friday - Back to Watergate Bay. the Finks were chatting in the car on the way there and we missed the turning, much confusion later and puzzled looks from the others following in their car! We had a relaxing time on the beach and in the waves. a local artist did a sketch of Mr Fink reading the paper with out him knowing. AbuDhabi, Big Mac and Fries left to pack up their tent and go home. we headed off to Padstow which was also a beautiful place, pity there is so much Rick Stein all over the shops. I really liked it there and can't wait to go back. Giggle Point - the girls getting knocked over by the waves!

Saturday we packed up the kit, squeezed it back into the car and trailer and headed home 11am - 6.30pm. Since then I have mostly been washing, and washing and washing ready for Little Fink's next trip away with Nanny and Shouty Grandad in the camper van ON TUESDAY!

A big thank you to AbuDhabi, Big Mac and Fries for making our holiday perfect. x

Goodbye, cruel world.

Right, this could be the 'last post'.

We are off camping in Cornwall. The weather reports have been terrible over the last few days and for the next few days to come.

We are stoical about it and going anyway!

The only problem is....

We can't find the green string. Everyone knows you should always have string when you are camping. Shouty Grandad calls it 'Farmers Friend@ Go figure????

See you in a week, be good. xxx

Look out Cornwall, here we come

Next week, Big Mac, AbuDhabi, Mr Fink, Little Fink, LMI, Pisky and Mr Pisky will be in Cornwall for our annual week of fun in the sun. Did I say sun? Silly me, last year we had 70mph winds, bent tent poles and abandoned tents all around us.

I've checked the weather report and it says there will be rain and showers with the possibility of GALES.

OH COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK!

Also, I was checking the local news. See the picture, do you know what it is? It's a Portuguese Man Of War. A stinging jellyfish type thing. Some were found 20 miles from where we will be staying, on Monday. Luckily, next week when we are there, it will be so flipping cold, none of will be going any where NEAR the sea!!!

Dirty

Little Fink and I have been off school/work 4 days out of 5 last week. Mainly due to the school staff - already low on numbers - not being able to get into work from their distant homes. We had a lovely week, enjoying Mr Fink's company on a couple of occasions, when we all went out in the snow and sledged/sledded, snowballed, snowmanned and iglooed.

Mr Fink joined the ranks of the hundreds of other fathers that do not routinely slide down hills on their bottoms, when he woke up suffering from lower back twinges - "Ooh me coccyx!" he groaned, at least that's what I THINK he said?

Big Mac and AbuDhabi came round on Thursday as their school was also closed due to inclement weather. You know when you've been a slob and not done any housework when your good friend looks at your dark wood sideboard and says, "I'm glad you don't take dusting too seriously either."

I'm not house proud but it strikes a nerve when your household cleanliness is so bad your pals see it as an opportunity for humour.

So, now that it is Sunday, a mere 3 days after the comment, I feel bad enough about it to get the fluffy duster out!

Stand by your beds for inspection - if it don't move, clean it, if it does move, chuck it in the bath!

You know you've had a party when...

...you're eating onion bahjiis and sausage rolls for breakfast!

The Buncefield Bash was a terrific success. Everyone brought a little bit of something to eat and drink (tea cake, chili, trifle, nibbles, booze). Everyone joined in with all the games, the cereal packet game is now considered 'old hat' by the children. The 'jelly baby in the flour game' claimed Marsha and Bambino as it's first two victims and the 'eat the chocolate with the gloves on game' was played fiercely by Bag Mac and Bambi - with MUCH cheating by both. Unfortunately we didn't get time to learn Big Mac's 'toilet roll game' perhaps next year. The children were well behaved and had great fun too, dressing up, karaokeing and playing buzz.

Mr Fink's legendary indoor fireworks were the stars of the show, we were all warned to stand well back and as ever, no one could believe their eyes at the roman candles firing out of the Buncefield cake!

I thoroughly enjoyed myself and laughed all evening. Thank you all for taking the trouble to come (Mr & Mrs Fogg travelled down from York to be here) and making the evening what it was, another wonderful night of fun with the people I care most about. Thank you all. It would be nothing without all of you. xxx

Half Term in the Western Lakes of Cumbria

Wastwater looking towards Wasdale Head with Yewbarrow, Great Gable and Lingmell (Sca Fell and Sca Fell Pike are hidden behind Lingmell).

What a week! Let's go away for half term I said. What about Cumbria Big Mac said. I've got a caravan you can stay in, Aunty Joan said. And so begins such adventures! You've got to be spontaneous - otherwise what is the point?

Saturday

Little Fink and I wave bye bye to Mr Fink and pick up Big Mac (watch this space for a name update in the future?!) and AbuDhabi, along with the fourteen blankets, twelve bags and assorted Tupperware. We head North through broken bridges on the M6 and terrible rain, the like of which I haven't seen in years. Big Mac and I play a modified version of the Yellow Car Game (due to my 'flu jab', I can't be punched all the way to Cumbria!). Every time a yellow car comes into view, Big Mac and I squawk, "KA" in the stylee of Micheal Palin's 'Ken' in a "Fish Called Wanda" with his hands tied and chips up his nose. The standing water on the motorway was dreadful and the rain and spray was everywhere. We made it off the M6 (J36) onto the A590. the rain was still bombing down and the wind must have been gale force (found out later that it was the worst October weather in living memory. 1000 fell runners and hikers were starting a 2-day, 2-marathon hike across the fells as we were travelling, 700 of them went missing on the fells overnight due to the terrible weather). As we passed the Lakeland and Haverthwaite Railway, there is a short length of dual carriage way, I got into position to overtake a slower moving vehicle and started to accelerate past. (Big Mac was texting on her phone) BLAM I hit a massive puddle of water, it hit the windscreen and made the wipers stand still. Big Mac looked up from her phone, saw a wall of water only previously seen on the log flume at Chessington and swore. (Boy, can she swear). It seemed like 2-3 minutes before the wipers kicked in and we realised we weren't dead. Everything was where it was before we hit the water and life continued. Big Mac was a little shaken but only for a short time. We arrived in Haverigg about 6 hours (280 miles) after we set off. We saw Aunty Joan (static caravan owner) and Aunty Mary and various other Fink rellies. We settled in and I buggered off to a family party that was being held in the next village. the weather was still totally terrible and I stayed till 11.30pm - my dad (shouty granddad) was there and was very embarrassed to buy me a drink when I kept asking for a mug of tea!

Sunday

Went out for a bit of an explore, the rain had stopped but the wind was unbelievable, so strong. We walked along Haverigg beach towards Silecroft, it felt wonderful to be out in the sea air, we saw some cocklers then went for a walk along the sea wall. We got about a third of the way along then the kids moaned like hell so we came back! After lunch we drove out to Silecroft beach, just up the coast. The wind was so strong that it could turn your eyelids inside out! We got there just in time to see shire horses and Clydesdales being ridden through the surf and up the beach towards us. I was beside myself - so powerful - so majestic. Beautiful. Against the backdrop of the fells they looked stunning. (brought a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat.)

Monday

We went to Wastwater. Oh wow, how beautiful. So many colours. After numerous photos we drove to the end of the lake, stopping only for Big Mac to harangue a local National Trust chap to find out where he had hidden Sca Fell and Sca Fell Pike, we popped into the Wasdale Head Inn, home of the 'Biggest Liar' competition. Wasdale is known for "The highest mountain, (Sca Fell Pike), the deepest lake, (Wastwater), the smallest church, (St Olaf's at the foot of the fell) and the biggest liar (competition at the pub). after our repast we went for a walk, we were looking for a waterfall for Big Mac to photograph. We made our way through a farm and over some boggy ground towards a raging river (Lingmell Beck). As we approached the bridge, Big Mac said, "Oh dear, that sheep appears to be caught in the fence." Famous last words. Understatement of the year.

I looked up the steep fell and saw in the distance a greyish white blog standing close to a wire fence half-way up a mountain. "It will be fine, come on, let's find this waterfall." I said.

"We can't leave it up there, I'll phone the farmer." Anyway. We have the two things you need to alert the farmer that his sheep is stuck, the number and a signal, so up the fell we went.

We asked the children to wait at the bottom, in case the sheep was in a bad way and it upset them. (No matter that it was upsetting me though!) We got up there on adrenaline. I broke 2 nails just trying to push the sheep back up the fell to relieve the pressure on it's garroted leg. It had tried to jump the wire fence and it's back leg had caught the top wire, twisted it over the top with it's hoof and become snared. The harder it pulled, the faster it was caught. Big Mac and I swapped places, she pushed (it was like having a baby all over again) and I squeezed the wire. Eventually she pushed it's hoof through the wire and it was free. we let it go and it hobbled across the fell on three legs. I recon it must have had the worst case of pins and needles in the world! Anyhoo, we named the ungrateful sheep Nelson (in honour of Nelson Mandela who was also freed) and addressed the fright of just how high and steep we were. The kids were obviously concerned for our welfare as they 'spelunked' rocks into the river with worry! NOT. We made it down slowly and without incident. We continued out search for the waterfall - found it! and headed back. then I slipped on a rock and fell in a bog. Bugger. Sore right shin, no permanent damage - that will bruise up nicely and I'll have a war wound to show - i thought).

Tuesday

Big mac and i woke with matching aches and pains, damn you Nelson!

I smelled a funny smell in the sitting room area and realised the rug had travelled too near the gas fire. Big mac and I pulled it back. I checked the hot bit of the rug for damage....then ran into the kitchen screaming...the carpet had melted onto my fingers. what a way to wake up. No lasting damage, thankfully. (still no bruise on my leg either). We went up Corney Fell to see Nanny (metal detecting) and Shouty Granddad (digging holes) at Aunty Una's house. we also saw Aunty Hannah (collecting twigs for a Halloween broomstick) while we were there!

Later we walked along Haverigg beach to watch the sunset, then Big Mac realised we were standing on a dark beach at night, with no torches! Doh.

Wednesday

We visited the Ravenglass narrow gauge railway also know locally as Lal Ratty, which runs to Eskdale. We then decided to head to Coniston. the most direct route would have been over Hardknott Pass and Wrynose Pass (the steepest roads in Britain) which I declined to travel due to lack of fuel, freezing temperatures and mist on the fells. We took the A roads and arrived in one piece. Consiton was beautiful, shame it was a little misty and wet. We checked out Hawkshead and Tarn Haws - again beautiful colours.

Thursday

We tidied up the van, had a mooch round Millom and looked forward to coming home to our loved ones who had been enjoying snow while we were away!

Friday

We drove home via the butchers at Bootle (Big Mac bought 5 feet of sausage) and the pie shop at Millom (I bought 4 meat and tater pies YUM). It took about 7 hours and we were shattered!

A brilliant time had by all with lots of adventures. Thank you Big Mac, AbuDhabi and Little Fink - I had a ball.

You Call that PRUNING?

Picture the scene - My kitchen window obscured by 2 enormous Magnolia shrubs, at least 3-4 metres high. I had asked Mr Fink not to cut them back last year as I thought it might help the magnolia grandiflora to flower (the year before that, he had pruned them with the lawn strimmer).

Anywhoo, I asked Mr Fink to cut it back as the foliage and the darker nights were causing me to turn the lights on in the kitchen from about 4pm.

I supervised Little Fink and Abu Dhabi playing on Abu's sleepover - don't even ask what Big Mac was up to! When I went back into the kitchen about 40 minutes later, someone had removed my magnolia trees and replaced them with 2 inch thick tree stumps. Oh my goodness, all the branches, leaves, buds...all gone.

If I had gone to him and asked for a haircut and he had done that, I would have claimed assault and sued him.

Actually it looks great, I've hung bird feeders all over the branches and the real fun was in the sight of Little Fink and Abu Dhabi jumping on the tarpaulin full of shrubbery, trying to crush it down so it would fit in the car to go to the dump!

Thanks Mr Fink - I can see again!

Next week, helping our 80 year old neighbour clean out the gutters!

or, "I'll hold the ladder, you climb up!"

Whirlwind

Rowan Atkinson in a sketch from The Secret Policeman's Ball where he and Peter Cook are doomsdayers discussing the end of the world. Rowan says, "Will this wind, be so mighty, as to lay low, the mountains of the earth? (All will become clear as to why this is relevant in a mo!)

Alright campers, all back on Terra firma. The Fink family had a great time with great friends. The weather was patchy, ranging from beautiful sunshine (4 days in total) to gale force storms (5 days and nights one after the other!), the rest was grey and overcast. The winds were so mighty as to lay low a lot of the tents and awnings. Many campers packed up and went home but our little group battled it out with the help of industrial size tent pegs and the Glums' awning (we sheltered in there for warmth and company during the worst of the weather).

Dorset was beautiful, lovely sunsets and big skies. Weymouth beach as always a pleasure. Mr Glum earned a new nickname from Ched and Doris, he is forthwith to be known as "Bambi", because he is long legged and accident prone, like the young Bambi - very apt. The Big yellow Bambiboat made its inaugural sailing at Weymouth, which was great because Mr Fink and I didn't think it was going to arrive at all on the top of the Glumbus, secured to an inflateable roof rack (I kid you not). You should have seen the Glumbus going down the road at 50mph with a 15ft inflateable yellow canoe strapped to the top of it! So funny. We all had a turn in the Bambiboat and it was good fun, especially when ALL six of the children got in!

The children where a delight and so funny, well behaved (in the main) but terrible at washing up! I have a terrific video, which I will treasure, of Stinky wrestling with her brother Slash on the ground, when I ask her what she is doing, she looks up in mid scramble and says, "I'm trying to kiss my big brother." He howls, claims to need the toilet and runs off. In the next film, Little Fink is wrestling Bambino (Son of Bambi, aka Goober), I ask her what she is doing, she replies, "Trying to kiss Marsha's big brother!" She fails and resorts to giving him a noogie instead!

LMI's mum and dad - Pisky (she is Cornish and looks like a Pixie) and Homer were good fun and helpful too, when Doris's tent canopy needed zipping up she needed someone really tall to help, Bambi wasn't available so Mr Fink and Pisky joined forces and with her on his shoulders, reached up and did up the zip! Mad. Homer and Mr fink went on a 9am bike ride to Abbotsbury that wiped them out for a good couple of hours after. They vowed to go again the next day but chickened out when the time came, claiming sore botties!

Big Mac and Abu Dhabi were great fun too, Big Mac kept Mr Fink entertained on trips to Lulworth and Chesil Beach, she is so funny, had me in hysterics more than once! Especially with her shrimp impression! You go girl!

The campsite was lovely, well kept, clean and tidy. When the winds were at their worst, the staff were patrolling the fields and fixing or tying down damaged tents while the owners were away, so caring - All hail the staff at East Fleet Farm Touring Park, 10/10 from The Fink. Might see you next year!

Hooray, Hooray, its a holi holi day

I am writing this with 20 hours to go until we set off to holiday, when you read this, we should be on our way or there! Joining us on our camping trip to Weymouth are,

LMI and her parents and 2 dogs Bart and Izzy;
Ched, Doris and my niece and nephew Slash and Stinky;
Mr & Mrs Glum, Marsha, Goober and Pongo.
Abu Dhabi and BigMac.

Many moons ago when Mr Fink bought his new car, he promised me faithfully that all the gear would fit into it, last night as we started to pile the kit up in the dining room at Fink Manor he started to look a bit shifty and scared. The morning will tell.

Adieu Doctor, Til Christmas

You can tell a true Doctor Who fan from the contacts list in their mobile phone. Look under 'Doctor' and if the number 07700 900 461 appears, you have found a true disciple.

I decided to mark the last episode of Doctor Who with a girlie get together. Doctor Who has always been Little Fink and I's bonding time. nothing interrupts us when it's on. I arranged for Marsha and Abu Dhabi to come round for a sleep over, bought pizza and popcorn. The episode was due to start at 6.40, I wanted us to watch last weeks episode before hand, which was about an hour long - 5.40. Little Fink was at a bowling party until 5.30 - it was going to be tight.

In the end I we got home (detour for coca-cola) about 5.50, forgot all about the popcorn etc, watched last weeks episode and THANK CRUNCHIE for Sky+! While the machine was taping the end, we watched the beginning! We were about 10 minutes behind the rest of the country!

Within the first few minutes, my hope had been confirmed that David T was still THE Doctor, there were whoops of joy, clapping and shouting. We were so happy he was there. What an episode, good luck to Steven Moffat - I don't know if he can top what Russel T Davies has done but if he can write 'Blink', 'The Empty Child' and 'The Library' episodes, we're all in for a scary ride!

I found it a bit odd when he left Rose and The Doctor II on Bad Wolf Bay, I said out loud, "That's not right, that's not the doctor'. I felt Rose had been cheated out of what was rightfully hers - a future with the Doctor - the proper doctor.

When Donna's mind started to reject the Time Lord part of her and she was begging The Doctor not to wipe her memory, I started to cry. How unfair. As the flashback flickered through her adventures, my tears fell. She would never remember what she had seen and done with him, their friendship and bond. Wilf helped The Doctor put her to bed, never to remember her time with him, I was still crying.

I can't remember a TV programme that elicited such emotion from me in recent times as this one did. It's because I was totally immersed in it, believed all the characters and the fantastic things they could achieve, had gone through all their traumas and trials with them.

Now I feel a bit lost, a bit like Rose and Donna must feel. (and, gentle reader, a bit embarrassed to admit it!)

Perhaps it is my turn to be the Doctors companion -

heaven knows I've been phoning him all week but no reply!

Now wash your hands!

Picture the scene.
Little Fink and her sleepover buddy, AbuDhabi come down in the morning - Little Fink's intention is to show off her new found cooking skills and to make AbuDhabi scrambled eggs for breakfast.
It was hot last night so they are only in vest and knickers, standing barefoot on the kitchen floor, ready to start breaking eggs.
I took one look at them and said,
"That look, just does not have 'hygene' written on it - anywhere. Go put your clothes on!"

Kids, "But we've washed out hands!"

You couldn't make it up!

A couple of weeks ago I invited my friend (BigMac - she used to eat 2-3 at a time when we worked together) and her daughter (AbuDhabi) to come over for a meal out. While Mr Fink was getting ready, she and I were enjoying a cup of tea. I said, "Have you seen the bathroom since we had the bath taken out? It looks huge now, so much more storage space." She said, "Ooh I'd like to see that" and legged it up the stairs, threw open the door....only to find Mr Fink sitting on the toilet with his pants round his ankles. He screamed, she screamed, well it all sort of went downhill from there.

Today my boss was in the office all day, which isn't a problem he just gives me lots of things to do all at once. "Mrs Fink, can you print this off...can you photocopy this....can you transcribe this tape....how many annual leave days have I got left etc. etc.?" I end up with about 40 applications open all at the same time and the computer falls over and dies a lingering death. It was like this today and I couldn't focus on what to do next, anyway the phone rang and my hand picked it up before I put my brain in gear. So I'm sitting with a phone at my ear and I just couldn't think of what to say, so I said, ".....I can't remember who I am...." Gales of laughter from the other end of the phone. Sometimes a really good laugh is the only way to clear your mind!