Christmas Mark II

What a wonderful weekend.
We opened the back door to find this pair of loonies on the doorstep on Friday. They had parked up in a lay by just outside the town to get changed, only to attract the attention of a passing motorist who stopped to observe them dressing - weird. Imagine the motorist going home to his wife and telling her he has just seen 2 adults changing into Santa costumes at 10pm!
Anyway, we tucked into Shepherd's Pie, wine and Japanese beer, it wasn't long before we opened our Christmas presents, a couple of cuddly toys for Mr and Mrs Fogg, these toys, fart, giggle, burp and record your voice, very silly, very appropriate. I was given some lovely reminders of their trip to New Zealand and a pair of framed watercolour prints of hares (my favourite animal), Mr Fink received buckyballs (magnetic ball bearings to fiddle with), a guide to teenagers and a bell for his bike. Nelly was lucky enough to be given a fantastic camera - thank you so much, you couldn't have picked a better gift for her. We eventually went to bed about 2am.
Christmas Day was wonderful, bacon sarnies for brekky, lazy morning, Christmas dinner, very few of us managed pudding, we were that full! then a game of Guesstures (recommended) with the most entertaining mimes being Mr Fink's 'liontamer' and Mr Fogg's mime where he held up 10 fingers and then two....could Mr Fink get it? Nope. (it was supposed to be 'twelve'!) the girls' team swept the board with our feminine intuition to a massive victory (6 points). Mr and Mrs Fogg then produced another, very generous, gift, a telescope and showed me how to set it up. I managed to focus in on the moon straight away. I was so excited, it was amazing to see the golden lunar surface pockmarked with craters and contours. (I have a week off work next week and am seriously considering going nocturnal to get the best use out of the telescope!) We rounded off Christmas Day with a classic '80's horror film, "House".

A wonderful weekend with all the makings of a future tradition.
Merry Christmas to each and every one.

Christmas in March

Mr and Mrs Fogg couldn't make it from York to us in December so we decided to make Christmas happen in March when they could make it. The decorations are up, the tree lights are flickering, Mr Fink is out food shopping.
Tomorrow after work I'll be preparing the elements of Christmas dinner (yes, GWTBO, there will be a huge jug of gravy) and greeting the Foggs with a shepards pie after their journey down South. We'll enjoy carols and festive songs and a glass of fizz.
Christmas Day will be Bucks fizz and bacon sarnies, present opening, a lovely lazy roast with crackers and party hats. Later, party games, the Queen's speech (recorded on TV) and Monsters V Aliens, complete with Xmas adverts!
Season's Greetings and Merry March Christmas from The Finks. x

A Peaceful and Happy New Year to you all!

Wow, didn't that come and go fast?

Christmas Eve was spent with The Glums, wonderful food by Mrs Glum, great home movies by Bambi (Mr Glum). the most amazing surprise came when the glums insisted (as they do) that we open each other's gifts on the spot. Mr Fink and I were handed a long package. We looked at each other in puzzlement, this gift was about 2 metres long by half a metre wide???? as we unwrapped it, we realised what it was. (In the blog entry, "you can take the girl out of Colney" - you will remember Mr Fink and I went to a junk emporium, while there we spotted the most beautiful paining of a lady in a red velvet dress reclining, we both fell in love with it but couldn't quite justify spending the money just before Xmas, so reluctantly we left it there. We mentioned this in passing to The Glums' the next day and thought no more of it. The next day Nelly and I went back to the junk shop to get the picture for Mr Fink but it had gone. Doh!) The Glums had visited the shop early the next day and bought it for us. We were speechless, what a lovely gift. Thank you!

On Xmas Day, Mr Fink, Nelly (aka Little Fink) and I spent a wonderful day with my parents, Nanny and Shouty Grandad. Shouty Grandad spent most of the day looking for The Scotch Tape (a cassette of bagpipe music with which he tortures Nelly in the campervan) and for the campervan keys. The sight of him alternately looking worried and then smiling at the annoyance of knowing the keys are in the house but "Where?", was very funny to watch and had me giggling all morning.
In the end the keys were located in one of the many hiding places he has for items of value (you've heard the one about him stashing the holiday money in his going out shoes, forgetting and being crippled all night at a party due to ten pound notes taking him down a few shoe sizes?)
We shared gifts, swapped stories and generally had a lovely morning.
We had the best dinner ever, Heston eat your heart out. Mum, you are the best.
After dinner we played the now traditional round of homemade Deal or no Deal, which can be a bit of a trial unless Shouty Grandad is losing, then it gets really funny. Nelly made a Christmas quiz for us, this year it was boys v girls and nanny and I won! Woo Hoo - we didn't brag tooooooo much.

Mr Fink has made himself a digital jukebox, which he is enjoying playing with. 2 days ago I went to collect a pasta maker from a Freecycler and got a puncture in Mr Fink's car. Yesterday I took Nelly horseriding, Marsha was also there, Marsha's horse reared up and bucked her off. Bambi and I though we were going to have to call an ambulance for her but after a few minutes she seemed ok and has suffered no damage, thankfully. (ALWAYS wear your hat and body protector if you are playing with horses.)

It's now New Year's Eve, I received a phone call this morning from my bank, checking the validity of a purchase I apparently tried to make yesterday, £291 to Emu-Oz's Party Shop in Australia. I agreed with the lady from the bank that it was not me trying to buy £300 worth of party gear just after Xmas, so they declined the transaction and stopped my card. Well done to the bank for monitoring my buying patterns and preventing a fraud I probably wouldn't have picked up till my next pay day.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow and our traditional 'fish and chips on the beach' new Year's Day with the Glums, Southend, here we come!

Well, may I wish you all peace and good wishes for the coming year, may it find and leave you in good health, good spirits and with the people you love. xxx

You can take the girl out of Colney...

Yesterday Mr Fink whisked me off to a wonderful warehouse full of junk. It was officially a 'Vintage Emporium' but looked like an old auction house/warehouse/Aladdin's cave.
We wandered round, recognising various artefacts from our youth and one or two from the antiques roadshow.
The warehouse is split up into 20/30 booths where different vendors show off their wares.
As i was wandering round, i happened across a 9 year old local girl (I could tell she was local by her posh accent and the way she and her mum were behaving!) riding a vintage tricycle up and down the gangway. "Jocasta, please put that away." said the mum (all pashmina and cashmere'd up against the weather).
"mummy, why are you so grumpy...you never let me have fun..I'm bored...when are we going home...why are you grumpy...mummy....mummy....speak to me mummy."
Well, we've all been in those situations and usually good taste, Englishness and the fear of reprisal prevents our inner mind from speaking out. Not me. As the girl continued her whining insistence, i could stand it no longer.
I spoke out in a loud clear voice, which echoed throughout the building.
"CHILD. GIVE IT A REST!"
As the child and mum walked away, I heard mum say, "Well, there's no need to be cross with me."
I eventually found Mr Fink and over a wonderful cup of tea I asked if he heard me chastise the girl. he said,
"I thought to myself, 'that sounds like Mrs Fink'!"

It's only a little snow!

Have you looked out of the window? What a pain! 4 inches in the last 2 hours. Yesterday I was at work when it started at 10.30am, I received a call from the school at 11.45am, they were closing the school to make sure the teachers could get home. Lightweights!
I left me office, armed with homework, and made for my car. I think I would have been able to get it out of the Consultants car park which slopes at about 15 degrees. The problem was, the hill the hospital is built on was gridlocked with vehicles. Not moving unless they were sliding. I didn't even switch the engine on, locked up and set off walking the mile to the school. As I crested the third and final hill, one hour later my phone rang. It was the school secretary, "Are you coming to pick Little Fink up?" I was incensed, unfortunately due to my lack of breath and pounding chest I couldn't say exactly what I felt - only to reassure her I was tramping through the snow to be there. What a c*w!

Anyway, my girlfriends and I had planned a Strikly Come Dancing Final 'Girls' Night In" tonight but the weather seems like it might have put paid to that. Also the weather has prevented the Asdaman from visiting with my shopping too. Grrr.

Perfect, now the cat has just been sick on the carpet. Joy to the world and goodwill to all men? Bah Humbug!
;o)

Tis The Season to be Jolly.

Stage 1 - Gather Ye Ingredients, Sloes, Sugar and GIN, lots of GIN

Stage 2. Wash, destalk and despider ye sloes, prick them with ye olde spiky cat brush.

Stage 3. 500mls gin, 400g sloes, 150g sugar, shake shake shake till mid December

Today I have mostly been Christmas (apologies for using the 'C' word in September) shopping with my mum and dad, we went to a local hedgerow and picked about 10kg of sloes. Then I went to the local supermarket and bought 11 x 70cl bottles of gin and a 5kg bag of sugar (and something for dinner! Imagine the funny looks I got on a Sunday afternoon!)

The sloes are now steeping gently in the sugar and gin, by mid December they will flavour and colour the gin, which I will strain and decant into gift bottles for Christmas pressies.

A good day's work. (Any suggestions where I can get cheap or free 500ml glass bottles with lids would be most welcome. The cheapest on the interwebs I've found is £2 each plus postage.

Merry Christmas 2009

Well, we've had chance to make the most of our Christmas. We enjoyed the company of Nanny and Shouty Grandad. Nanny and I cooked the duck and turkey on Christmas Eve (I have no idea how other people fit it all in the oven on Christmas Day!) and enjoyed an evening of silly games and fun.

Christmas Day Little Fink had the itinerary all planned out and we opened our gifts in relative calm! We watched the Queen's speech and had lunch.

we played some more games, watched Doctor Who - a little light on anything actually happening but beautifully set up for New Year's Day.

All in all a good couple of days, I'm enjoying being away from work and just relaxing to be honest. I've also decided, for several reasons, to go tea-total for next year - I've already done 3 weeks and it's not as easy as it looks! I like to relax on my days off, Mr Fink is not like me, he gets ants in his pants and feels like he should be up and doing things. Not me. My normal week is full of charging around, when I have a week off, I like to slow right down!

I had a lovely day at the pictures watching Avatar - 9/10. We've just had a smashing evening playing board games with The Glums. Always an entertaining time. Off to Ikea tomorrow, pictures again, Sherlock this time. New Year's Eve Mr Fink is off for his second consultation about having his eye lenses replaced to correct his vision.

It's all go!

I Did It!

I Did It. I did the Christmas food shop. In one morning, this no tears, drama or screaming. I did have a little moral support and chauffeuring from Bambi - I did a swap, I got him and Mrs Glum looked after Little Fink!

Little Fink made a lovely cake for Christmas Eve tea when nanny and Shouty Grandad come over ready for the big day!

We've just got a few cards and presents to deliver (on behalf of F.C. himself) and it's all ready.

BRING IT ON!

That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. No?

Poor Little Fink, bunged up, sniffing, sneezing, coughing.

"what can I do to help her feel more comfortable?" I thought. "I know, I'll put some Vick's on her chest to help clear her blockages."

So I usher the snot laden child to the bathroom, lift up her jammy top and slather the Vicks all over her chest.

A short while later, she is at the coffee table with her laptop and I note the improvement in her breathing.

"Mummy." she says, little face screwed up against the vapour,

 "I can't see." Ah bless.

Mr Fink now has the dreaded lurgy and was unable to attend the first celebration in the annual calendar of Christmas. Last night it was the gathering of the Fink clan at GWTBO house, this consisted of take away, jokes, fun, babies, Death by Pictionary (terrible amount of cheating from SOME people. One person who will remain nameless, shamelessly whispering "Think Paris" as a clue to the word Eiffel Tower. Shame on you) and lots and lots of laughter.

My favourite comments of the night were....Woogie talking about a hirsute GWTBO, "Grandad wasn't born, he was knitted!" and Blitzen (Doner's girlfriend) when playing Pictionary trying to guess a US President, "Is it John Bush?" (But she more than made up for not knowing him name with her enthusiasm and air punches when her team were doing well!

The babies were beautiful and full of beans and everyone had a brilliant time. Thank you.

I'll hex the lot of 'em

Right an update.

Filofax - lost, now found

Christmas cards - half done

Parcel, delivered, disappeared, denied, returned to sender, re posted - watch this space

Credit card - cloned, stopped by bank.

I had a phone call last night from a polite lady purporting to be from my bank's fraud department. She wanted to talk to me about my credit card which ends in 1234.

She wanted to ask me some security questions to make sure I was the card holder. (she phoned me remember) I confirmed my name, address and date of birth (all readily available on the internet). She asked me what the current limit on my overdraft was, I told her I wasn't going to tell her that as I had no proof of who she was. She assured me she was genuine, "I'm C.... and I'm here in Peterborough." I had the devil in me and was out to prove a point, "Yes, and my name is Mickey Mouse and I'm sitting in an igloo at the North Pole. Do you see my point?"

She suggested I phone in on a number she would give me. "But that could just be your friend sitting in the room next door. I know, you tell me what my mother's maiden name is, the Bank knows that." She didn't have access to that information. She suggested I phone the number on the back of my card. Success. i thanked her and rang the number.

Oh how I bet she laughed.

I was transferred at least 6 times....push 1 now....push 4 now...push 3 now, it was like having a baby. I got through to a human who put me through to the fraud department. It rang and rang and rang. I can see them all now, probably 4 in the room, all laughing and pointing at the phone saying, "That will teach you to be smart with us!" anyway they eventually answered the phone and the upshot is, my credit card details have been copied. They have stopped the card, refunded the erroneous amounts and will send me a new card. (I thanked them profusely.)

So, in the run up to Christmas, the busiest 2 weeks of the shopping year, when more money changes hands than at any other time - how long till my new card comes? 10-14 days. argh.

How will it be sent? ROYAL MAIL. NNNNNNNNNNNNNoooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Never to be seen again no doubt. Goodbye cruel world.

On a happier note - Little Fink has had a story published, achieved her yellow belt at Ju-Jitsu and has just spent the 40 minutes before bed making a dodecahedron calendar. Don't ask!

Where the heck is it then?

It's Christmas. I've been doing my shopping online as i can't bear going to the shops. I bought a gift from Ebay for Little Fink. I waited a week and the item had not arrived. The seller had sent me an email to say he sent it on the 23rd Nov and the number to track the delivery is AB123456123456AB. HOORAY. What a superstar, how sensible a chap to track the delivery.

I typed the reference number in the Royal Mail tracker, "We attempted to deliver your item on 26th Nov. A 'While you were out' note was put through your door, please collect from your depot or arrange redelivery via the internet." note? what note?

I jumped on the internet and arranged for the item to be delivered to my local Post Office. I received the email confirming the redelivery request and was ready to pick up parcel on Dec 2 (my birthday).

I went to the local Post Office, "Hello, do you have a parcel for me?" Lady, "No, he hasn't been yet." Me, "Oh, what time does he come?" Her, ~"Anytime, can be anytime." Me - "Thank you, I'll come back tomorrow."

I left it a few days, went back. No parcel. yesterday (7th Dec) I went to the main depot, No parcel, no indication that the parcel had ever been in the depot, it is a ghost parcel. Also checked at the local Post Office. nope, nada.

I've emailed the seller, he is sympathetic to my plight. has sent me a scan of the receipt of postage and the tracking document.

I only hope they have sent it back to him and he will send it on eventually.

My favourite part of the story is the response I got from Customer Services for Royal mail. they don't publish a phone number so you can phone the depot and see if your parcel is there, you have to drive there and fight for the 3 (yes 3) parking spaces to get in to see if your parcel is there. The Customer Care lady took the details, said she will phone the depot, get them to investigate, they will call her and she (or someone from the Customer Care team) will call me back. "ooh lovely, thank you for being so helpful," says I, "What time do you think you'll call back?". " Oh about Friday."

Is it me?

Something to Melt Your Brain

My best friend, "KT Wong" moved to Fremantle, Western Australia 18 months ago. She was explaining how hot is has been over there at Christmas time (the hottest place on earth one day over Christmas) and I had trouble getting my head round the following...

It is cold here in England, I have my heating turned up to 22 degrees C to keep warm. It is hot in Aus. (about 40-44 degrees C) and KT has her air con turned up to 25 degrees C to keep cool. HOW DOES THAT WORK?

Anyway, do I feel sorry for KT and her hubby sitting in the spa all day to keep cool? (Nah) Wandering off to the country to spend time in their place there? Not to mention the resident wild possum that lives in the boat in the roof of the outhouse. (Why are all my friends sooo eccentric?)

Happy New Year to you and yours

Well, a Very Happy New Year to all of you from all of us. I hope it is filled with Health and Happiness for everyone.

As I get older I can't believe how fast the seasons come and go, it only seems like a few weeks ago I was panicking how I was going to get 3 peoples Scout-camp holiday clothes washed and dry in 24 hours, ready for a trip to Spain.

The Christmas season has come and gone in a blast, we spent a brilliant time with family and friends, played lots of games (board and video - well done whoever invented Buzz jungle) and enjoyed everyone's company. To me that is the true spirit of Christmas, being with the ones you love and care about.

Mr Fink and I went to my work's Christmas do. Neither of us knew many people and one of the men at our table told us his job, "I'm in packaging." Mr Fink came back with the snappy line, "What are you? An elf!" Luckily the man had a sense of humour and we all had a brilliant night.

As part of our New Year's Traditions, The Finks (including Mrs Fink's mum - "Nanny") and The Glums made their annual New Year's Day pilgrimage to the seaside. Mr Fink and I had to laugh at Nanny's spoonerisms, she has a tendancy to get two common phrases mixed up - much to the confusion and amusment of those nearby. 3 crackers she came up with were...When describing the wood a table was made of she said it was "Mahogmanay" (could this be a special Christmastime Yule log?) next...as we went over the QEII bridge and observed the low tide exposing the banks of the Thames she said, "Oo I could get me metal detecter out on them MUDFLAPS." Gawd bless 'er. Last but not least, as we were discussing the arctic weather and high winds that are expected any day, she advised us to, "Button down the hatches." Priceless.

We set off in convoy, through the mist to Dymchurch, Kent near Hythe. We ate sausage and chips by the beach (Mr Glum has a bit of a penchant for chips at the beach), the girls made sandcastles and drew dogs in the sand. The men played catch and football on the beach, Mrs Glum walked 'Pongo' the family dog and Nanny got to work playing with her new metal detector. Armed with spare batteries and a trowel she made off up the beach, clicking and beeping (the detector, not Nanny). After a couple of hours she made it back with various items. Several bits of wire, a bolt, a flat disc (not a coin) and a "Victorian, Metal, Hat Pin" - I thought it bore a remarkable resemblance to a four inch nail - but what do I know?

I took Pongo for a stroll up the beach to see if he would like the sea (he didn't) as we walked back a family approached with a black labrador puppy with a view to letting the dogs sniff each other (to socialise the puppy I guess?). The man of the family said, "Is your dog friendly with other dogs?" To which I (in the manner of Peter Sellers) truthfully replied, "I don't know, It is not my dog." He must of thought I was a bit of a nutter, what with me being on me own. He then gave me a searching look and said, "I'm sure I recognise you, you look very familiar." I said, "It happens to me a lot, I think I must have one of those faces." He said, "Do you live over in the sheltered housing?" I, shocked replied, "NO. I'm from Hemel Hempstead in Hertfordshire!" Pongo growled at the little black lab and we stomped off.

When I got back to the others and retold my tale, (after they had stopped laughing) they decided the man must have either mistaken me for a pikey, a wino or one of the 'gently bewildered'. Bloomin' cheek, I hope this is not the way 2008 is going to continue, I was hoping for a grown-up, sensible year!

Christmas is a comin'

Yes, it's come round again. I can't believe it, Mr Fink is bullying me into getting Christmas cards and wrapping paper (not to mention sending me emails which helpfully point out which gadgets he has found that interest him!). I'm still waiting for that Indian Summer we were promised.

Anyway, the Fink family are not very good at proper shopping - where you sharpen up your elbows and take your chances in the crowds. I end up with shopper-rage in the first 10 minutes and just want to lie down in the shop and have a screaming ab-dab like a 3 year old! Fink shopping involves, the computer, the card and the postman! I love it.

The shopping is nearly done and the packages are arriving, we were starting to run out of places to put them, so Mr Fink says. "I know, I'll put them in a washing basket under our bed".

This in itself seems, to the untrained eye, like a good idea. However the fatal flaw of the plan was when he said to Little Fink, "What ever you do, don't look under our bed."

Even Little Fink, as young as she is said, "Fancy telling a kid not to look under the bed at this time of year". She's a canny one!