It Must Be My Age

Being all organised, I booked my car in for it's MOT a couple of weeks before the current one runs out. I Took Laura up there in plenty of time, armed myself with a Jack Reacher book and prepared to book her in then sit and have a good read while Laura was put through her paces.
"There's no record of an appointment for your car for today?" said the nice man, "Are you sure you booked it in with us?"
"Of course I booked it in with you, this is the only garage I use for repairs and MOT, why would I suddenly book it in with another garage? This one is just round the corner from where I live, I would be daft to go anywhere else."
We didn't get to the bottom of the mystery but the upshot was, Laura is booked in for tomorrow.

As I drove home I received an answer phone message..........asking if I had forgotten my MOT appointment.......from the garage across town.

Not meant to be

On Saturday I had decided I would go metal detecting with the club I joined earlier in the year. The club had been recommended to me by a digging pal (much more dedicated than I am) so I took his advice and emailed the organiser. I wrote, "I really enjoy digging but the club I belong to goes to the same places all the time, so I'd like to join yours please." After I had sent the email I noticed a misspelling. I had put 'dogging' instead of 'digging'. Nooooooooooooo. The organiser wrote back, howling with laughter. The registration for the club was closed but he said i had made him laugh so much he was going to let me join.

So I had plucked up the courage to go and meet him and the other members of the club, only to go to my car at 7am to find the above sight greeting me. I changed the wheel but I didn't go digging, I only had one of those 'comedy' spare tyres that you can only do 50mph on, so by the time I would have got there they would have started digging and I would be wandering amongst the cars on my own. Hmm, not a good look considering my previous contact with the club!

Blummin' Cheek

This evening I went to the local shops (in my car, Laura - the garage that did her MOT wrote the wrong reg. number on the test certificate so I have to take her back to get another one done!) to get fish and chips.
As I returned to my car, I noticed a dad and his daughter getting into their shiny Nissan QashQai which was parked next to mine. "Mind when you open the door." said the man to his daughter.
"Oh don't worry about that, the stickers are all over my car to hide the bumps and scratches." Said I in a jolly tone.
The dad didn't say anything but his look told me it wasn't MY car he was worried about. DOH!

Snow in Finkle Finkstead

Yes it snowed.

Mr Fink and Little fink were jumping up and down while it was falling. In the morning Little Fink almost went out in the snow with her pyjamas on! The school was closed so LaraCroft kindly took Little fink while I headed off in Laura across the 8 inches of snow! We made it almost to work (which is on a steep hill) and all the way home with no drama, it wasn't until I tried to put her back in the garage that i got stuck. However, I learned a trick from Ray Mears, I took out the car mats, placed them under the wheels and Presto, we were unstuck. Thanks Ray.

As I walked up the steep hill to work this morning, I caught up with one of my colleagues whose physical condition causes her to walk with 2 sticks and a rolling gait. She was more than two thirds of the way up the hill when I caught up with her. I jokingly said, "Alright Zoe, you been out skiing?" As she turned to reply, she lost her footing and slid to the ground. I caught her and helped her up. "You were doing OK before I turned up weren't you?" I said. She was very gracious and saw the funny side. However after an hour or so one of the girls from my department stopped me and said, "I hear you've been pushing disabled people over in the snow."

Oh dear!

Good luck - Bad Luck

Good News - The outside pool was open today - the water was lovely and I had a good swim.

Bad News - I received a letter from the Safety Camera People informing me I had been naughty and done some speeding past one of their cameras and it was going to cost me £60 (and 3 points) to say, "Sorry."

Good News - I also received an email to say I had 4 numbers on the lottery and had won £72 pounds. Yay.

You don't think the Camera speeding people and the Lottery people are in cahoots do you? they know you've won a few quid so they send you a speeding ticket coz they know you won't mind so much. After all, the lottery people ARE called CAM-a-lot!!

How cool is that?

I'm pimping my ride! Laura has had a name change, she is now called Laura Daisy-Green. By the time she goes to the Big Car Yard in the sky, she will be more 'daisy' than Ibiza!

The truth is, there are a few spots on the bonnet where the top layer of clear varnish is coming off and I thought a good way to stop the rot would be to protect the spots with a covering...of daisy stickers. Of course.

Further instalments to be posted.

Words and Cubs and Climbing

Yesterday Little Fink and I were driving home in Laura and we were playing word games. We tried saying sentences without using the letter P. We said 'ineapple, 'orridge and dol'hin, colours 'ink and 'urple. I really liked Urple and am going to use it often!

Little Fink and her pal went to the local Scout Camp for, "Bring your friend to Cubs" evening, They did rock climbing, tobogganing, crate stacking (stand on crates, keep adding crates in a stack until it is so wobbly you fall off.), high ropes course (looks terrifying, about 20-30 feet off the ground) and  assault course. They both had a top time and were shattered by the time they got home. All good fun.

Falling Down

Remember the film "Falling Down"? Micheal Douglas is the office worker, just trying to commute to work, several things go wrong for the umpteenth day in a row and he looses it, abandons his car in the traffic jam and goes on a rampage. You know where this is going, right?

It all started at 10 to 7 this morning, as you may know, I am not a morning person. I had been awake part of the night with back pain and mentioned it to Mr Fink (love of my life) at 7am this morning to which he (with love in his voice) said, "Perhaps that will give you the incentive to get fit?" Not my ideal, "Morning honey, sleep well?" I was looking for.

The rest of the morning was relatively uneventful, if you discount me pushing a Ford Focus up the road as it's first gear had packed up - those things are heavier than they look (and me with a bad back!). Got to work and all quiet. Left for the other hospital 7 miles away for a meeting at 2pm, all fine, didn't even get lost. The meeting finished at 4.20pm, I went to get the Hospital Transport back to my base hospital, collect my bag and belongings, get 2nd hospital transport to my car and head home to family and rest. HAHAHAHA. The driver (who I witnessed on Monday, chuck his orange peel across the road at the hospital and down the wall of the building onto the floor) was one of the really helpful breed, consider...

Me (4.20pm) Will you be leaving for Base Hospital soon?

Him, No

Me, what time will you be leaving?

Him, 5.15pm

Me, Someone has removed the timetable from the sign here, is there another earlier bus?

Him, No

Me, Thank you for your help.

I got back to base at 6pm. the Department where I work was locked down - no entry to be had. What a good job I thought to take my phone and car keys with me when I left at 12.30? By this time the buses that run from base to the park where my car is, have stopped running (who designed the timetable?). So by the time I walked back to my car, it was 6.30pm.

The kind people that lent me the cat carrier needed it back as their cat is ill so I hit home running, grabbed the carrier and headed out again. I have finally sat down and looked at the clock - it's 9pm. What happened to that day?

To add insult to injury - the hospital have announced next week will be - "Cycle To Work Week". You just couldn't make this stuff up.

Happy St George's Day - God Save The Queen

Today I...

hung a huge flag at the front door.

Wore white trousers and shirt and red shoes and cardigan.

Donned a little St George's flag in my lapel.

Was given a Happy St Georges Day card from The Oracle.

Discussed the relevance of patriotic celebrations with the South African bus driver.

Adorned Laura with red and white ribbons to her aerial.

Happy Gt George's Day all.

"And did those feet, in ancient time, walk upon England's mountains green? etc etc

Bits and Bobs

What a strange day. It started off on a bad note when Mr Fink leaned over the bed to kiss me goodbye this morning with the words, "Good luck at the dentist's!" Argh, I had forgotten all about it. anyway, Little Fink and I braved it and she got off scott free and I had to have mine cleaned. I hate that. The dentist was so clumsy, she kept banging the cleany instrument on my fangs and making them sing. I think I must suffer from ticklish teeth and not in a good way.

Had an enjoyable afternoon helping Nanny collect her new varifocals and trouser shopping with Little fink, she is so much fun to shop with - skinny jeans you can actually bend down in, what will they think of next? I liked the dusky pink leopard skin ones but she went for the plain goth black! Is this a sign of things to come?

After a lovely time I eventually said goodbye to Little Fink, Nanny and Shouty Grandad as they are off on the Grand Tour for the next week.

When I returned home and went to put Laura to bed, as I reached down to open the garage, my hand was covered in something sticky. This worried me as last week, some bright spark had let their dog do the biggest turd in the universe right in front of my garage door, it was so huge I could barely get the door open without touching the top of the poo with the bottom of the door.

So my first thought was, "Oh boy, what's that on the handle? How did they get the dog to do it up there?" I ventured to check more closely, only to find some creative oik had got hold of a jam rolly polly and smeared it all over the garage door and handle, left it to bake all day in the Spring sunshine and was probably watching somewhere nearby, laughing his ass off. It is so hard to drive a car with a jammy hand! I cleaned it all up and went home. All examples of a suitable punishment for the perpetrators to the usual address please.

OK, How do they know to talk to me?

So what is it about me that attracts the Sad, Mad and now the Bad?

I was minding my own business, filling up the car with petrol. I hung the pump back on it's holster when a car containing a man and a girl stopped next to me, wound down the window and asked for directions to a local street.

I gave directions as best as I could, to which he replied he had a few 'messages' he was going to give the resident of one of the houses???? It transpired the resident was accused of doing 'something nasty' with/to the car-man's other daughter and he was going round there to sort him out. I gave him lots of helpful advice like go to the police, don't get yourself into trouble, think about the little girl in the car - all ignored in that special way only the mad/bewildered have and he went on his way.

So I'm wondering what it is about me that attracts them? Is it the pixie hat my mum knitted for me? my big CK Boots? or Laura the bright green car? If you know please tell me so i can go out in disguise.

Mind elsewhere?

" dyslexics are teople poo "

On Friday it was Little Finks' sports day. Of a day of 2 hours, there was only 1 competitive race for each age group, which was itself optional!

The only saving grace was...Little Fink won her race!

I headed off for work at 11.30. I usually park my car at the local park and ride and take the hospital staff bus to work. I'd missed it so drove my car to the NCP opposite the hospital and went to work.

After work I got on the hospital staff bus, made a few phone calls while I waitied for the departure time. We set off, I looked across the road at the car park and saw a car just like mine on the top level. ARGH. Tom kindly stopped the bus and let me off, laughing all the way.

Preoccupied? You think?

Is nothing sacred?

Mrs Emm gave me one of these to stick on Laura's aerial from her family's trip to Disneyland.

Some rotten ***&£$*** has stolen it off the car. Honestly, is nothing sacred? I have put a hex on the thief and he/she should be discovering the nasty little ailment I have sent their way any minute.

To paraphrase Catherine Tate, "What a bleedin' liberty!"

The question is, do I

a. Not replace it
b. Replace it with a Fantasia Mickey
c. Replace it with a TARDIS aeriel topper?

Who stays and who gers, Yu decide.

Bunny Buddies

I have been reading up on how to keep a happy bunny. As you may know, we acquired a big black rabbit from Freecycle in Nov 2006. We were allowed, by Mr Fink, to have a rabbit one one condition - that it was not kept in a cage - Mr Fink does not like animals in cages.

So Mr Chips, the big black bunny lives his life freerange on our garden. He has eaten all the flowers and manages to keep the lawn grass short (but not under the climbing frame for some reason??).

According to the Rabbit Welfare Society, one of the most important things a rabbit needs for his wellbeing and mental health is a companion. Rabbits are social creatures and not made for solitude. Many people put a guinea pig with a bunny for company but this is not idea for reasons of health (guinea pigs need daily vitimin C, rabbits do not) and safety - the bunny might just get 'too friendly' with the guinea pig and do it an injury. So, being a responsible bunny owner, I have been reading up on what I need to do to get Mr Chips a pal.

According to the leaflet - and this is all true - the bunnies need to be neutered and to meet on neutral ground, the leaflet suggests placing both rabbits in a confined space which has neither rabbits smell on. They suggest the bathtub. (the regular followers of this blog will remember - as will BigMac! that we had the bath removed last Summer). They also suggest that when the bunnies are used to each others company, to get them to bond, they should be placed together in a situation of mild peril! The leaflet suggest placing both rabbits in a carrier and taking them for a drive in the car. The unfamiliar surrounds, noise and motion will encourage the rabbits to huddle together for mutual comfort and bond as buddies for ever. Imagine the scene, me driving round in a bright green car, rabbits in a box in the back, stopped by the Police, "Good Evening madam, might I enquire as to your business being out on a night like this?". I can see him getting the straight jacket out of the car as I reply, "Do you mind officer, I'm in the middle of the delicate process of 'bunny-bonding."

The officer will say, "I thought she made a New Year's resolution to be more sensible this year." As they lock me up and throw away the key.

Here I go again!

I've done it again. I think I'll have to go on some kind of anger management course or something. I shouted at a stranger in the street.

I parked Laura ready to go pick Little Fink up from school. I am careful to park considerately as the local residents have to suffer us twice a day bunging up their road. I parked on the end of a row of cars, there was no room behind my car as it is the exit to a local nursery.

I picked Little Fink up and returned to the car, to find that some bright spark had parked behind Laura. The car was about an inch away from mine. I had parked close to the car in front to allow anyone exiting the nursery the best visibility to get out onto the main road, so I was blocked in.

I sat and fumed for a few minutes, told Little Fink to put her seat belt on as there was going to be a ruck when the other driver returned. I gently steamed for another few minutes.

Then the driver returned, wandering down the road with her little daughter running up and down, chatting to a couple of the other mums. She stopped by her car and chatted away to the women for a minute or so while my blood reached boiling point. I jumped out of the car and shouted, "Are you going to be long? I've been sitting here for 10 minutes waiting for you because you parked so inconsiderately and have blocked me in. Not only that but you have blocked the exit to the nursery, no cars can get out of the car park. How could you not realise? It's people like you that give the rest of us women drivers a bad name."

She looked at me with big, brown, apologetic eyes and replied what I think was "Sorry" but she was Polish so I couldn't understand a word she said.

My rant wasted. Typical.

Prezzy for Mrs Fink

I had a lovely early birthday present from Mr Fink, a Sat Nav.

I've had a power point installed in Laura (my bright green Seat Ibiza), what could go wrong?

I opened the Sat Nav and pressed all the buttons, it works perfectly...except. It can't access any satellites.

I checked the manual, the advice was. "Stand in an open area, away from buildings and trees and hold the unit still for 2 minutes, the unit should access the satellites"! Not much good when you are travelling up the M6 at 70mph. No?

Anyway - I did as I was told, the satellite was picked up and I arrived at my destination refreshed and stress-free. Almost.

The brand new cigarette lighter does not work. AARGH. The Sat Nav does not charge.

So Laura goes back to the garage. (Did I mention that the exhaust fell off on Wednesday night?)

You know you've had a bad day when...

I've been in my current job 3 months, I had my interim appraisal on Wednesday - glowing reports, praise all round and a pay rise.
Thursday and Friday - disaster and depression. I had my first bad days in 3 months, good job I had my appraisal on Wednesday or I might be at 'Office Angels' today!
Anyway, to compound my end of week depression, Mr Fink arranged for my car (Laura) to go to Paul-"THE CAR GUY" for a cigarette lighter to be fitted so that I can have Sat Nav for my birthday. (Need the cigarette lighter for power - the gadget is not a heavy smoker!)
Paul - THE CAR GUY - is a top bloke and recommended to all. I went round to pay him for the above job, I sat down in his waiting room, hot little credit card in hand
He said, " We got in the car, saw a shiny dashboard with a smashing blank where the lighter should be, punched the blank out, beautiful round hole, no cracks. Got the cigarette lighter out of the pack, put it in the hole......fell right through. The hole was too big."
Is it just me? Or do these things happen to everyone?
Good job I can see the funny side.
Enjoy your weekend xxx