To tea? or not to tea? that is the question.

At the Fink Summer Revels, Mrs glum had a terrific gadget. It was a small gaz stove in a tall metal box with a vent hole cut in the side to allow the air to circulate. She was able to boil water for vast amounts of tea.

I would like to conjure up the same sort of thing. The question is, do I go for a tall confibulation which is inherently unstable? Or, do I get a new fangled flat stove with a gas canister instead? Hmm, answers on the usual postcard please.

Ding Dong, Avon Calling

Do you remember the film, "The Truman Show"? It starred Jim Carey, he was in a massive reality TV show, but he was the only one that didn't know. All the people he interacted with were actors and every aspect of his life was filmed by hidden cameras.

I know how he felt. I'm sure my life is being filmed...for "You've Been Framed" or similar.

Take yesterday for instance.

In my house, there are 3 wireless doorbells. One at the front door, one at the back gate and one in Little Fink's bedroom, so that when she plays her music and I need to call her down for dinner, I don't have to bang on the ceiling with a broom, I just press the doorbell and a voice shouts, "What?!" from upstairs.

Anyway, yesterday the front doorbell rang but Little Fink and i got confused and thought it was the back one. I ran out to open the back gate to find no one there. I came back in.

A couple of minutes later it rang again, I quietly ran to the back gate, whipped it open to catch the little blighters running away but, no. No one there. I waited quietly behind the closed gate for a few minutes waiting for them to come back. Nothing.

I came back in, it went off again. It suddenly dawned on me it was the front door bell...Argh. I checked the front - no one there either. Perhaps the wireless doorbell itself was playing up? I took it to bits, I got Little Fink to fetch the one from upstairs, I took that to bits. In the end I had both bells answering the same push button - what a row. In the midst of this both bells would go off randomly of their own accord. I reprogrammed them and was fixing the front doorbell push back onto the door frame when my active/elderly neighbour (he goes out more day clubs and evening concerts than me and my friends put together) Billy the Whizz came out of his front door.

Suddenly the clouds lifted and I began to see daylight...

"Billy. Have you bought a wireless doorbell recently?" I asked.

"Yes, I got one from Asda today, how did you know?" Said he, amazed at my powers of deduction.

"Ah...a little bell told me!"

Back to the funny farm for me.

Is nothing sacred?

Mrs Emm gave me one of these to stick on Laura's aerial from her family's trip to Disneyland.

Some rotten ***&£$*** has stolen it off the car. Honestly, is nothing sacred? I have put a hex on the thief and he/she should be discovering the nasty little ailment I have sent their way any minute.

To paraphrase Catherine Tate, "What a bleedin' liberty!"

The question is, do I

a. Not replace it
b. Replace it with a Fantasia Mickey
c. Replace it with a TARDIS aeriel topper?

Who stays and who gers, Yu decide.

Gadget boy stikes again...

I'm off to bed soon. "why so early?" I hear you cry? Well, Mr Fink has just been reinfected with Gadget-itis and upgraded, not only the TV but the DVD too. So unless I want to sit and watch him plug cables in, I'm off to bed. Can anyone tell me why is it, new tellys have to be highly polished black plastic - incorporating a high static charge which acts as a dust magnet? I wipe that flippin telly every day and as I wipe it, the dust zings back in the path where the cloth has just been. Any suggestions on dust bustin' the TV would be greatly welcomed. (Also, when the sunlight hits the TV from the window opposite, the screen is matt and dos not reflect the sun, but the 'frame' of gloss plastic reflects it like a mirror and you end up with retina burn in the shape of a rectangle. Little Fink has to wear a welders mask to watch Hannah Montana some afternoons!)

I love Mr Fink when he is playing with his gadgets. He gets it all out of the box, gets all the PCM, HGV, HDCM cables (or whatever they are called), plugs etc. puts it all together like a complex air-fix kit, then sits back on his heels, TA DA..... there is no sound.

"Bugger," says Mr Fink, "I'll have to read the instructions now!"