He told us a few of his classics, The Keys From the Van, Selling Paint to people from Luton and the Money in the Shoe ones to name a few. I mentioned that I wouldn't be surprised if the local shops had his picture up next to the ASBO kids with a warning note next to it saying, "trouble". Then he said with indignation, "I went in Sainsburys the other day and they wouldn't even slice my bread". Cue hilarity all round. Apparently, he went to the supermarket to buy his usual 1000g uncut loaf which he always gets them to slice for him. This time however, when he offered it up to the chap on the bread slicer, the chap declined to cut it. The reason? the bread was too big!
Well, Shouty Grandad went into his, "I've been coming here for 20 years and the bread has always fitted before" speech, the manager was called and between them they managed to get the bread sliced. The chap put the bread in a bag and handed it to Shouty Grandad. Shouty Grandad looked at the bread, "Where's the end gone?" Apparently the tiny sliver from the end crust had fallen off the loaf and into the machine, from whence it could not be retrieved.
"I can't buy this bread, it's underweight so IT'S ILLEGAL!!" was Shouty Grandad's parting shot.
I wonder if Sainsbury's have a customer hit list?
