Ribs II - a 'how to survive' guide

It's week three in the BB house (broken body). After cracking a couple of ribs a few weeks ago, i'm now more mobile than I was and the bruising has subsided - a VERY disappointing bruise i might add. I was expecting a 4 inch wide purple and yellow beauty radiating, tattoo like, across my back for a month. changing colours alongside the autumn leaves; but no, all I managed was a thin twig like grey offering which lasted a week.

As all good hypercondriacs do, I 'googled' my injury to find out how long I had to live. It turns out i will survive and the wisdom of the e-medics is, 'take the pain meds and get on with it'. So i decided to offer some practical help for those poor souls struck down with bruised, cracked or broken ribs in the future.

• No matter what your husband says, do not get up and walk around as much as you can the day after the injury.
• Take your painkillers on time, everytime, they are your friend and will help you.
• If you are taking codeine or a derivative of codeine (co codamol) start taking constipation meds too. Codeine is well known for making you constipated and you DO NOT need that in your life when you have rib pain.
• make yourself a nest on the most comfy chair/sofa, gather together all the things you need for comfort. remote controls, book, laptop etc. Include a 'grabber' for pulling objects closer to you. There's nothing worse than asking your spouse to 'please pass the remote' when it's only 4 inches away, but to you it's a mile.
• procure a back scratching device as soon as possible. Once your body knows you can't bend and turn, you are going to get itches. Get a back scratcher immediately and keep it to hand at all times.
• Lay out the ground rules early and find out which friends are your real friends. at some point in your journey, you are going to need the toilet, depending on the extend of your injury, you may need help 'cleaning up' after a visit. It's time to find out who your proper friends are. (In the words of Susie Poosie, "I'll do anything.....but I won't do THAT".
• Rest up, sleep and heal.
• Avoid visitors who think laughter is the best medicine, with cracked ribs, it most definitely is not. Do not allow them in the house. You'll thank me later.

So 3 weeks in, I'm able to stand from sitting, walk, potter about, shower and sit down. 

I can't, lift heavy items, bend, reach the floor, sit anywhere apart from 1 place on the couch, sleep in a bed, drive, walk far, talk for more than a few words (the shallow breathing is a right bugger), get comfortable, thank my friends and family enough for all their help and assistance.