During the Summer I decided to stop being a waxing 'virgin' and give it a go.
I have always used a razor or cream to 'de-fuzz' my legs but the current TV advertising for 'wax strips' sucked me in and I bought a pack.
The instructions on the pack said, "Take a strip (about 6 inches long x 2 inches wide and covered on both sides with non stick paper) warm it between your hands, peel off one paper, apply to the skin, smooth down and pull off against the direction of hair growth in a 'smart' fashion. Each strip can be reused 2 or 3 times." Easy right?
Anyway, Mr Fink offered his services as beauty technician (I should have stopped right there). He knows what a coward I am at anything painful and I can only guess his motives.
So I'm sitting on the bed, wax strips at the ready. Mr Fink warms the strip in his hands, removes the paper from one side, puts in on the front of my right shin and smooths it down. We wait a few seconds then.....RIIIP, he pulls off the strip. I grip the bedclothes in my fists and expect the worst.
The pain wasn't that bad.
The pain wasn't that bad because most of the wax was still attached to my leg. Don't panic. He reapplies the strip to 'retrieve' the wax (a bit like collecting blu-tac with a bigger bit of blu-tac).
No joy, blue wax all over my shin. "Don't worry" he says, "I'll try another bit". He reapplies the old strip and a new one, to no avail. I am now stuck with sticky blue wax all over the lower portion of my shin, with various patches of baldness, hair and red skin. Gross.
I start to panic and pick off the wax, it is too sticky, it's like the stuff they stick your new credit card to the accompanying letter with. ARGH what am I going to do.
I get in the shower (Mr Fink is of no help now, convulsing on the bed with wax induced spasms of mirth) and try to scrub the stuff off, the scrubby net ball thing doesn't work, the flannel doesn't work, the nail brush does.
After about 20 minutes of scrubbing with the nail brush, I am wax free (the brush has to go in the bin but hey-ho, a small price to pay for goo free legs).
I reenter the bedroom on stinging red limbs and Mr Fink helpfully says, "Did you know there are some special wipes in the box to get the wax off?"
He lives, but I'll never be tempted to wax again.
