I'm aware of the advertising for the new film with Helena Bonham-Carter (brilliant actress, mad as a box of frogs mind) and Johnny Depp (he'll never better Cap'n Jack) and it reminded me of last year when The Finks were packed up and ready to roll to Summer Holiday Camping. The trailer was packed, the sweets bought for the journey, everyone had been to the loo, when Mr Fink said to me, "Could you cut my hair before we go please?"When Mr Fink's 1950's quiff started to shrink, we invested in a pair of clippers and I, periodically give him a 'number 2' all over. (a number 2 is about 5-6mm)
When he's had his haircut, I take of the plastic guard (this determines the length of the haircut) and brush/blow all the little bits of hair out of the clippers before I put them away.
This time however, because we were in a rush and I was desperate to get on the road and get to holiday, I didn't do all my 'pre-flight' checks on the clippers. I plugged them in and did the usual 'badger stripe' from forehead to nape of neck, right over the top of his head.
"Oh" I said. "What do you mean 'Oh'?" he said, "That doesn't sound very good, what's happened?"
"Don't worry," I said, "it'll blend in".
I couldn't blend it in, Vidal Sasson and Tony & Guy couldn't blend it in.
I came clean and told him, I'd forgotten to put the guard on, prior to buzzing off the top of his skull. This meant that there was no comb on the clippers to determine the length of the haircut. He was down to bone, with a slight shadow of hair.
To give him his credit, he didn't scream or shout or make a fuss. He did make me agree to make him tea whenever he wanted and to wash his feet. I shaved the rest off and we went on holiday!
Poor Mr Fink, the things he puts up with.
