You Couldn't Make It Up

Too much month left at the end of the money?

2012-01-25T18:09:00.000Z

I work for the NHS. I do a desk job and use email ALL the time. I can use the NHS Trust email for my hospital network or I can use the more secure nationwide NHSMAIL system.
I must not send information which can identify a specific person, outside of the hospital system unless I use the secure NHSmail system or I encrypt the information in a .zip file and use the Trust system.
I don't normally use the NHSmail system as it has a short time out and a long log in process (reasons why it is so secure).
I want to send secure patient info to an NHSmail address so I elect to encrpt into a .zip file and send it.

NHSmail does not accept .zip files as a security precaution.

Sensible and worthy - but BLOODY frustrating. No wonder people cut corners and patient information gets out into the public domain.

Enough of work.

Mrs Hammer, me and Mr Fink went to Waiting For Katherine's latest gig, a charity affair which was so lively and well attended, we had a right royal rave up. Can't wait till March when they play the biggest arena in the area. It's going to be mega.

Having an old friend for dinner

2012-01-12T16:28:00.000Z

Last week the printer tried my patience, conking out so much I had to call the engineer in twice in 2 days, I'm sure he thinks I fancy him.
This week started badly, Monday 3 doctors complained to me about the duties I had set for them, some rightly and some wrongly. Tuesday we had a clinic of patients waiting and the doctor did not arrive - this is highly unusual, I was getting worried for his welfare as they always inform us if they are going to be late. My colleagues made alternative arrangements for the waiting patients who were mostly understanding...apart from one man who became argumentative. I appreciate how frustrating it must have been to be waiting for the doctor however, all the patients were given regular updates as to what was happening, alternative arrangements were made and the people the man was moaning at were the ones helping him. Did the man come back and moan to the doctor who thought he had booked Tuesday as leave? No of course not. Grrrr.
Wednesday i had computer problems, the spreadsheet I use to help me in my job is like a bible, I'd be utterly lost with out it. today it wouldn't open. The error, "spreadsheet is locked and in use by user...Mrs Fink" Oh no it's not. anyway this went on for most of the day. Grrrr.
Today i find some of the info I added to the spreadsheet last week is missing. OH NO! disaster. Thankfully one of the ladies that used to work in the department came to take me out for lunch at the local Chinese buffet. I laughed long and loud, it was great to catch up. I returned, sorted the spreadsheet problem and came home!

All in all a tough week, but I'm not complaining, a year ago I would have been crying, unable to cope and heading out of the door, never to return. Amazing what a little white pill a day can do?

Crimbo Limbo?

2012-01-07T12:44:00.000Z

I've been back to work for 4 days, the routine (if you can call it that with my job) is settling down again, I am capable in my job, plenty to do and the odd challenge every once in a while. However, when I'm at home in the evenings I'm restless, Nelly needs me much less, Mr Fink is busy cannibalising computers and I waste too much time surfing the tinterwebs. I need a project to occupy me. I really enjoyed and surprised myself when I did the Medical Terminology qualification a couple of years ago. it was a lot of work but at the same time interesting and rewarding, so I've been looking round for another educational course to take up my time. I wonder if my work will sponsor me to do the Access to Higher Education - Science course? Hmmmmm must be mad!

2012 - Day One in the Fink House

2012-01-01T19:40:00.000Z

Well happy New Year to you, may health, peace and happiness be your constant companions this year and beyond.
As is our tradition, we teamed up with the Glums and headed to Southend for New Year's Day - fish and chips.
We took Nanny along for good measure, but accidentally forgot Graham (sorry mate, next time, perhaps).

We had fish and chips at a lovely little cafe then went off to the pier for a mile long walk...but the pier cost a pound each so I said, "No, I will not pay!" and voted with my feet!
Nanny and I went off to do some metal detecting (very uneventful) while the others went off to the arcades.
After a while it started to rain so Nanny and I headed back to the car.

All in all a very gentle day with good friends, the perfect start to a new year.

A Peaceful and Happy New Year to you all!

2011-12-31T15:10:00.000Z

Wow, didn't that come and go fast?

Christmas Eve was spent with The Glums, wonderful food by Mrs Glum, great home movies by Bambi (Mr Glum). the most amazing surprise came when the glums insisted (as they do) that we open each other's gifts on the spot. Mr Fink and I were handed a long package. We looked at each other in puzzlement, this gift was about 2 metres long by half a metre wide???? as we unwrapped it, we realised what it was. (In the blog entry, "you can take the girl out of Colney" - you will remember Mr Fink and I went to a junk emporium, while there we spotted the most beautiful paining of a lady in a red velvet dress reclining, we both fell in love with it but couldn't quite justify spending the money just before Xmas, so reluctantly we left it there. We mentioned this in passing to The Glums' the next day and thought no more of it. The next day Nelly and I went back to the junk shop to get the picture for Mr Fink but it had gone. Doh!) The Glums had visited the shop early the next day and bought it for us. We were speechless, what a lovely gift. Thank you!

On Xmas Day, Mr Fink, Nelly (aka Little Fink) and I spent a wonderful day with my parents, Nanny and Shouty Grandad. Shouty Grandad spent most of the day looking for The Scotch Tape (a cassette of bagpipe music with which he tortures Nelly in the campervan) and for the campervan keys. The sight of him alternately looking worried and then smiling at the annoyance of knowing the keys are in the house but "Where?", was very funny to watch and had me giggling all morning.
In the end the keys were located in one of the many hiding places he has for items of value (you've heard the one about him stashing the holiday money in his going out shoes, forgetting and being crippled all night at a party due to ten pound notes taking him down a few shoe sizes?)
We shared gifts, swapped stories and generally had a lovely morning.
We had the best dinner ever, Heston eat your heart out. Mum, you are the best.
After dinner we played the now traditional round of homemade Deal or no Deal, which can be a bit of a trial unless Shouty Grandad is losing, then it gets really funny. Nelly made a Christmas quiz for us, this year it was boys v girls and nanny and I won! Woo Hoo - we didn't brag tooooooo much.

Mr Fink has made himself a digital jukebox, which he is enjoying playing with. 2 days ago I went to collect a pasta maker from a Freecycler and got a puncture in Mr Fink's car. Yesterday I took Nelly horseriding, Marsha was also there, Marsha's horse reared up and bucked her off. Bambi and I though we were going to have to call an ambulance for her but after a few minutes she seemed ok and has suffered no damage, thankfully. (ALWAYS wear your hat and body protector if you are playing with horses.)

It's now New Year's Eve, I received a phone call this morning from my bank, checking the validity of a purchase I apparently tried to make yesterday, £291 to Emu-Oz's Party Shop in Australia. I agreed with the lady from the bank that it was not me trying to buy £300 worth of party gear just after Xmas, so they declined the transaction and stopped my card. Well done to the bank for monitoring my buying patterns and preventing a fraud I probably wouldn't have picked up till my next pay day.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow and our traditional 'fish and chips on the beach' new Year's Day with the Glums, Southend, here we come!

Well, may I wish you all peace and good wishes for the coming year, may it find and leave you in good health, good spirits and with the people you love. xxx

Opened my mouth and put my foot in it.

2011-12-14T17:40:00.000Z

Last night, Mr Fink, Little Fink (aka Nelly) Mrs Glum, Bambi, Marsha and I went to London to see Les Miserables. Mrs Glum works at a local school that organised a coach and the tickets. We boarded the bus and set off in the rush hour traffic down the M1.
Mr Fink took out his phone and began to play the on-line dart game he enjoys. Often when he goes to bed, he will have a few games of darts on the phone while I'm reading. I hear him muttering under his breath at his opponent, "miss, miss, miss". Sometimes he even tilts the phone to divert his opponent's shot.
Anyway, there was lots of banter on the coach, as there always is when The Finks and The Glums get together. I chided Mr Fink about his on-line dart playing ability and in a too loud voice said, "You're no good at it in bed, what makes you think it will be any easier bouncing up and down on the back of the coach."

You'd think that would have shut me up. No.
On the way home, one lady had been declaring that she couldn't eat any of the treats, sarnies, buns or chocs that were being shared as she was on a strict diet. During the journey through London's food quarter, she finally cracked and said, "I've not eaten for 6 weeks!" To which I replied, "I thought I could smell Lighter Life!" (Oops - i meant, "that sounds familiar - Lighter Life by any chance?" but it came out wrong. DOH!

Les Mis was terrific - I loved it, powerful voices, intimate venue, great story and amazing visuals. highly recommended.

You can take the girl out of Colney...

2011-12-11T18:10:00.000Z

Yesterday Mr Fink whisked me off to a wonderful warehouse full of junk. It was officially a 'Vintage Emporium' but looked like an old auction house/warehouse/Aladdin's cave.
We wandered round, recognising various artefacts from our youth and one or two from the antiques roadshow.
The warehouse is split up into 20/30 booths where different vendors show off their wares.
As i was wandering round, i happened across a 9 year old local girl (I could tell she was local by her posh accent and the way she and her mum were behaving!) riding a vintage tricycle up and down the gangway. "Jocasta, please put that away." said the mum (all pashmina and cashmere'd up against the weather).
"mummy, why are you so grumpy...you never let me have fun..I'm bored...when are we going home...why are you grumpy...mummy....mummy....speak to me mummy."
Well, we've all been in those situations and usually good taste, Englishness and the fear of reprisal prevents our inner mind from speaking out. Not me. As the girl continued her whining insistence, i could stand it no longer.
I spoke out in a loud clear voice, which echoed throughout the building.
"CHILD. GIVE IT A REST!"
As the child and mum walked away, I heard mum say, "Well, there's no need to be cross with me."
I eventually found Mr Fink and over a wonderful cup of tea I asked if he heard me chastise the girl. he said,
"I thought to myself, 'that sounds like Mrs Fink'!"

Breathtaking

2011-12-09T20:25:00.000Z

I live in a terraced house on a housing estate in a reasonable sized town. You don't have to drive very far, about 4-5 minutes, until you are out in the Chiltern Hills and countryside.
This morning I stepped out to get in the car to go to work. I looked up, a beautiful azure blue sky, a winter chill in the air and to my amazement, a stunning red kite flew over the house, effortlessly gliding on the wind.
I stood, transfixed and watched as it circled, then it's mate flew over the house to join it. I couldn't take my eyes off the birds as they soared away and out of sight.
How they uplifted my heart and sent pure joy running through me.

What a great start to the day.

I remember it well.

2011-12-01T11:52:00.001Z

Former police chief recalls St Albans IRA bomb blast

KT and I were working at Watford police station that night. She as Enquiry Officer and I as Communications Assistant (answering the public's calls to the Police, recording information, assigning officers to jobs etc.)
As I recall we were about to hand over to the night shift at 10pm when the call went up from VH (Herts Police HQ) that all officers were to remain on duty till further notice due to the major incident.
I was worried as I knew Mr Fink was out in the pubs of St Albans. In the end all was well. Mr Fink safe and unaware of the drama. Two terrorists got what they justly deserved and, if police gossip is anything to go by, the police dogs and crows in the trees got an unexpected snack. (police humour is by It's very nature, macabre).

Hagfish-itis

2011-11-30T20:32:00.000Z

Did you see that episode of QI (with Mr Stephen Fry) where they discussed the hagfish? the hagfish has a defence mechanism where if you pick one up it turns any liquid into copious, and I mean copious amounts of mucus, gumming up it's enemy and getting away. A hagfish can turn a bucket of water into goo in under a minute.

I've caught a cold.

Last night I became so fed up with blowing my nose that I tore off a bit of tissue, rolled it into a sausage shape and shoved it up my nose to catch the drips. Ah sweet slumber.
I woke up in the morning and tried to extracate said tissue, only to find it had dried hard and attached itself to some of my inner nose hairs. OH BOY did that make my eyes water!

Anyway, the hagfish has got nowt on me today!

That's NOT funny!

2011-11-25T17:18:00.000Z

Little Fink and I watching the telly, advert for Alzheimers awareness, "Are you worried about someone might be suffering from dementia?"
A little voice pipes up, "Shouty Grandad!"
TV, "Are you losing someone you love?"
"Not losing him, more like giving him away!"

Cue monumental laughing fit by both of us.

Help! I've been hexed.

2011-11-14T22:07:00.000Z

Saturday morning I was due to collect one of my longest serving friends (Cornish Pisky, and her daughter, LMI) and bring her to my house for lunch and a chin wag. The last time we have arranged to meet, I totally forgot and went shopping instead of picking her up. Oopsie.
So I'm charging round the house trying to get ready and get Little Fink ready. Anyway I'm just about to go out the door when Little Fink announces she needs her shoes........"We are late, hurry up!" i shout. again, just about out of the door and she now needs her socks. AAARGH, the trials of the preteen.
"That's it, I'm going." I head out to the car and drive away.
As I travel, I get 2 text messages, on arrival at Cornish Pisky's house i check the phone, message from Little Fink... "That was a stupid thing to do." The second message, again from her, "I hope you get a speeding ticket."
Bloomin' cheek. So when my friends and I arrived home i told Little Fink I got caught by a speed camera and it was her fault because she hexed me. i explained I would have to swallow the points but she would be ultimately be paying the £60 fine out of the Christmas present money I had set aside for her gift.
Oh yeah - don't mess whit da Mommy!!

(We did laugh about it afterwards.)

Can cats cross their legs?

2011-10-29T22:04:00.000+01:00

Last Saturday, we went off to Cumbria for a week's holiday in my aunty's caravan at Haverigg. You may have heard, that morning, our old black cat, "Harry" showed up with a huge abscess on his back. I took him to the vet while Mr Fink and Little Fink were packing the trailer. The vet fixed him up, cleaned the wound and gave some anti biotic. The poor old cat couldn't wait to get back in the carrier. then I asked the vet if she would give him something to protect him from worms and fleas, we dragged him out of the carrier, gave him a squirt of medicine and back into the box he went. then I realised I had the cat box upside down, so he suffered the indignity of being turned upside down in the box too.
We went on holiday, Mrs Cat-Sitter did a marvellous job of making sure Harry took his tablets and fed him regularly (even though he is going senile and seems to forget he has just been fed and starts meowing for more immediately!)
Any how, we returned from hols today - Harry was very very pleased to see us, he was also looking in the rudest of health.
Mr Fink went up to have a shower to discover a tall pile of poo in the corner of our shower stall. He mentioned it to me (I told him it wasn't me, I've been on holiday all week!). I realised what I had done.
On the morning I took Harry to the vet, I locked the cat flap to stop him getting out and missing his vet appointment. In the rush to get away, I forgot to unlock it. For a whole week, he has been using the shower as a latrine. What a clever, considerate cat. Not so senile eh? (not so sure about his owner though?)

I Don't Believe It!

2011-10-07T19:32:00.000+01:00

The great haul of China: Woman climbs 70ft wall... just to dodge £2.50 castle admission fee - oh hang on a minute - I think it's Shouty Grandad saving a few quid again!

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2046504/Woman-climbs-70ft-wall--just-dodge-2-50-castle-admission-fee.html#ixzz1a7ddGbVb

Good Deed

2011-10-06T15:35:00.000+01:00

I did a good deed for the day. yesterday when I moved my car out of my garage to head to work, I noticed a bundle in a plastic bag, done up with rubber bands lying right by the garage door.
On closer inspection i found it to be a group of bicycle repair tools, spanners, puncture repair kit, alan keys etc. I thought perhaps Mr Fink had lent them to a neighbour and they had left them outside my garage for collection?
Mr Fink denied all knowledge so i posted a note on the adjoining garage with my number on it.
The next day a chap called and described the tools, we arranged for him to collect them last evening.
When he arrived he was so surprised and grateful that the tools had been returned he asked what he could do as a favour in return. I said, just pass on the good vibe!

Red faces all round

2011-10-03T08:54:00.000+01:00

Guess who is locked in her house and can't get to work?

DOH!

The World Keep on Turning

2011-10-02T12:02:00.000+01:00

They tell us autumn has arrived, well I agree it's certainly on it's way.

Earlier in the week we remembered the passing of Mr Fink's mum who has now been gone a whole year - doesn't seem possible.
The three of us enjoyed a lovely bike ride (power assisted in mine and Mr Fink's case) down a disused railway line - apparently you don't forget how to ride a bike, but something must happen as I was scared witless for some of the time by the speed we were going!
'Meet The Tutor' at Little Fink's school was encouraging - all good reports about her from her form tutor. She has been picked to attend a special reward weekend in March for continuous effort in PE and she will be a 'tour guide' for the upcoming open evening at school.
On Saturday we journeyed to Wroxham to meet up with 30 members of our family to enjoy a day out on The Norfolk Broads to celebrate the Pearl (30 years) wedding anniversary of my cousin. What a wonderful day, beautiful weather, lots of larks (Shouty Grandad throwing water from his boat onto ours, me throwing bread onto his boat to make the seagulls and ducks dive-bomb them, Nanny even had a go at driving a boat!), lively children and terrific scenery. Thank you all for a memorable day. xxx

Reward Offered For Lost Child

2011-09-20T07:51:00.000+01:00

We are in the midst of the change, from happy-go-lucky, easy-going compliant pre-teen to independent, self concious, self aware awkward teenager.
I welcome change usually but this one I'm not so sure about.
Hang on Little Fink, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Remember - I love you. x

Aussies and insects

2011-09-15T07:53:00.000+01:00

What a beauty eh? It is a Sexton Beetle, about 3/4 of an inch long, it is a carrion feeder, finds dead things by smell, buries the body then eats it. More of this in a mo.

I spent a lovely evening with my bff (best friend forever) KT Wong who had come from her adopted home in Australia to visit friends and family. Along for the ride was Big Mac, the three of us used to work for the police as 'civvies', KT as the guardian of the front desk (enquiry office) and Big Mac and I as communication officers (taking phone calls to the police, sending police to 'jobs', recording and monitoring incidents etc). As you can probably guess, things got pretty intense at times and people who work under such close circumstances become firm buddies. Well, we had stew, we tried my wine, we put the world to rights. Good times!
I invited KT to come see Little Fink horse riding (KtTwas a wiz on a horse) and also say "Hi" to Nanny and Shouty Grandad who would be taking Little Fink to the riding school.
I picked KT up from her temporary abode and headed off to the riding stables. After about 10 minutes something came in the open car window, hit me on the head and landed on my shirt. I looked down to see that bug up there. I screamed, she screamed (the bug probably screamed for all I know) I didn't know what it was so didn't know if it would bite, sting or throw a punch.
I couldn't stop the car as I was on a fast road with no hard shoulder.
The bug dropped off my shirt.......down between my legs....I was wearing shorts.
I made a turn off the main road, started to slow down....as I stepped on the clutch, I felt the bug hard and spiky under my leg, I screamed, she screamed, the bug might have screamed.
I eventually managed to stop the car, jumped out and KT flicked the bug out of the car where it landed with a considerable noise considering it's a bug.
She and i began laughing slightly hysterically, I got a big dose of the heeby jeebies - you know when you kind of shake your shoulders and shake yourself down.
After that we headed of to the horses and the afternoon (glorious late summer/early autumn weather) passed without further incident.

There you go KT, never a dull moment with me bff! xxx

Look out Year 7, Here comes Miss Fink

2011-09-06T08:37:00.000+01:00

Well, her she is, all ready for her first day at secondary school. She is a little nervous, but in a good way and the only time she stopped smiling is when I had to use my growly voice to make her wear her waterproof coat.

Good luck Little Fink! xxx

Autumn? I'm not finished with Summer yet!

2011-09-04T21:51:00.000+01:00

Well, autumn is officially here and the weather appears to have made it's mind up too. The summer holidays have been well spent ) and now we are ready to face the new school year, Little Fink looks amazingly grown up in her blazer (She will need a new name soon I fear).

Today I took Nanny to a metal detecting dig in the North of the county, she had a great time and even found a long cross hammered coin but I don't know how old as it still had the mud on, could be Elizabethan, or older.
While she was digging I sat in the car reading.... I'll explain why I wasn't digging in a moment...Mr Fink phoned me, "What should I use to clean exploded rhubarb wine off the kitchen ceiling?" Apparently Little Fink had been nearby when the airlock on the new rhubarb wine demijohn became blocked with fruit and blew the bung out - she said it scared her half to death!

I wasn't digging today as I can't put my boots on for another week or two, I had a tattoo inked onto the top of my foot last Monday and it must not rub while it is healing. It is of an Egyptian blue lotus flower (as shown above) a symbol of rebirth and enlightenment. It is a tribute to the memory of Astral, Mr Fink's mum who died last year. The lotus and the nine petals have a significant meaning in the religion she found comfort in.

Well the summer holidays are nearly over, this might be the last year that I spend more of it at home than at work as I'm guessing Little Fink won't need me here quite so much next year?

Two Become One

2011-08-28T15:37:00.000+01:00

The Fink family headed off to Southend for the wedding of these two lovely people this weekend. The guy is Mr Fink's brother and the girl is a smashing, wonderful, bubbly woman.
The ceremony was moving, the vicar spoke words of truth about marriage and how it is necessary when couples are not seeing eye to eye that they can rely on the bond of marriage as a promise that the unhappiness is only temporary. There were several readings, my favourite was the one about the dinosaur and the lovely other dinosaur. (read it here... A Lovely Love Story .
After the ceremony we headed off to the venue, a huge marquee in the grounds of a prep school, there were chandeliers inside, Chinese lanterns and Pimms! The sun was good and came out for the photos, I can't wait to see the ones with the swing!
The meal was delicious, each table had it's own game to play, ours was Scattegories. Our table also had a 'hang a spoon on your nose' master-class, a Mexican wave and some magic from 'Chops'. See the video...

Other highlights of the day were the speeches, very funny, especially the best man telling us that the groom has lost so much weight as a fireman that he is now officially below the accepted weight to be a Fink! the bride's father remembered the bride's lifelong wish to have a Mr Whippy ice cream at her wedding and arranged for an ice-cream van to come to the venue and furnish everyone with 99's! Inspired.
We drank, danced and sang the night away. Good fun with good friends and family. Always a pleasure.
Welcome to the family!

Happy Days

2011-08-22T21:41:00.000+01:00

The day started with a potential tragedy. As we were loading the car with the kit needed for the day e.g. juice, sandwiches, bats, balls, poi, frisbees, diablo, chairs, gazebos etc, Mr Fink dropped his keys. As he turned round to find them, Little Fink appeared in the gateway, "Where did my keys go?" He asked. "They dropped in the drain, dad." Commence Operation Gully Sucker. Mr fink removed the drain cover, I gathered tools, fishing nets and the 'crayfish trap extractor' (an extendible pole with a radiator paint roller skeleton gaffer taped to it). After 10 minutes of fishing out the muck and goo Mr Fink located the keys on the pole, "Hooray" I shouted. "Plop" they fell off the hook, back into the drain. "Doh!" Anyway. eventually the keys were found, washed and we headed off to the Revels.
There must have been about 40-50 people there from as far afield as Hastings, Sussex; Heysham, Lancs; March, Cambs; Hertford and Cheshunt.
We enjoyed games of rounders (no clear winners as usual but some fantastic catching, hitting and running), sack races (winners Danny and Tom) and garden cricket. Some people were kite flying, playing boules, giant jenga (Bartenga), water fights (Shouty Grandad), the children enjoyed the nearby splash park and generally running around in the park.
It was wonderful to see all our families and friends together in a setting where everyone did as they pleased. There was abundant laughter and catching up.
Thank you all so much for coming, you are the people that make it such an enjoyable day. We love you all and to those that couldn't make it this time - don't worry, there will be another next year.

Summer Revels 2011 - Update

2011-08-21T10:40:00.000+01:00

Gazebo - check, rounders equipment - check (just got to 'liberate' a couple of traffic cones en route for posts), sacks for sack race - check.

People - Summer Revels 2011 is GO GO GO!

Rounders in the Park

2011-08-17T19:53:00.000+01:00

The weather forecast for Sunday is not looking good - Heavy rain showers.
We will make a decision at 11am on Sunday as to whether (scuse the pun) the weather will curtail the fun.
Watch this blog for updates.

Meteor Hot Tub BBQ

2011-08-14T11:49:00.001+01:00

Sun, great food, wine, friends, hot tub, not necessarily in that order, all came together to create a lovely weekend of meteor spotting, bathing and bartenga at The Foggs house. We met The Caddyfrog which was Mr Cadwalledar dressed in his scuba gear to partake in the hot tub. A wonderful weekend with great friends. Thank you.

It's all happening

2011-08-12T14:01:00.000+01:00

Well, well, well. What a couple of weeks we've had.
First a lovely holiday with my mucker and her family. Very relaxed and lazy - I was!
Then Little Fink returned from Denmark/Sweden, with many tales to tell of trips to Copenhagen, long boat racing, she was blown away by the jamboree and came home with lots of badges from around the world, Japan, USA, Sweden, Norway, Kowloon to name a few. Apparently the next one in 4 years is in Japan and she tells me, "I'll be old enough to go." Oh really?!
Little Fink has taken an interest in ice-skating so her and some pals went off to skim the ice at Wally World.
I bought an electric bike with the intention of cycling to and from work but have realised I am more unfit than I thought so, more work needed.
Mr Fink has been working hard and also enjoyed a couple of long weekends in the static with Mr Hammer playing "Twack"! (that's golf to you and me)
Last night I enjoyed the company of my bestest bud KT Wong, over from Oz, we chin wagged, put the world to rights and had a lovely evening - hopefully to be repeated before she goes home next month.
Tonight The Finks will be heading North to see The Foggs and The Cadwalladers for the annual Meteorite BBQ and outdoor hot tub experience in York. I hope the skies are clear to see the meteors - having said that, last year we got so drunk we were all in bed by 11pm! I will of course be providing some liquid refreshment made by my own fair hand.

Denmark update.

2011-08-05T08:59:00.001+01:00

http://www.hemel-scouts.co.uk/district-news/
All the Denmark updates can be found at the above link. Little Fink is due back late on Saturday, she will begin her 26 hour journey later today.

This is my first mobile blog! Hey, get me!

Meanwhile, I've been on holiday with The Hammers, much cider, dog walks, food and banter.

Little Fink update 29 July

2011-07-29T18:16:00.002+01:00

http://www.hemel-scouts.co.uk/district-news/denmark-blog-29th-july

Ti dage i Danmark

2011-07-28T06:31:00.000+01:00

Well, she's off on her travels. Little Fink heads out with the scouts for 10 days in Denmark with a trip to the Scout Jamboree in Sweden for good measure.
The coach/ferry/coach trip will take around 26 hours, when they arrive at Naesby Centret Scout Camp, Zealand, Denmark http://www.naesbycentret.dk/about-us.aspx they will have tents to put up before they can chill out.
I hope all the young people (and leaders) have a terrific trip, make marvellous memories and create friendships that last a lifetime.

In these times of uncertainty when sending your children off to foreign lands to camp in the great outdoors used to be happy and safe thing to do, it is hard to relinquish the care and control of my 11 year old. I wish you all back safely very soon.

(My thoughts and heartfelt sympathies go out to the families of the young people tragically killed in Norway recently - there but for the grace of fate, go I)

Rhubarb - stage 1

2011-07-26T12:38:00.001+01:00

3lbs of rhubarb, top and tailled and cut into chunks. 8 pints of water boiled, poured onto rhubarb (disguarded lemons chucked in after zest and juice removed). 3lbs of granulated sugar, zest and juice on 1 lemon.
Steep rhubarb for 30 mins, add sugar/lemon juice mix, leave to cool overnight. rempove the big bits and transfer the liquor to a demijohn. Add 1 tsp wine yeast (not bread yeast it'll taste funny) and and 1 tsp of yeast nutrient. Leave to ferment. (about 2 weeks) when finished, add a campden tablet (to stop any further fermentation and to kill any bacteria), siphon off the sediment, sweeten to taste with sugar syrup, bottle when required. Enjoy!

Magic

2011-07-22T12:58:00.000+01:00

From this - lemon curd like brew to....

beautiful Elderflower wine. It is delicious.

End of an Era

2011-07-22T10:50:00.000+01:00

Today is Little Fink's last day at Primary School. Some children take chocolates or flowers as a present for the teacher on the last day of term - Little Fink bakes a batch of chocolate brownies for the class.
I can't believe how quickly these years at primary school have gone by. It doesn't seem that long ago when she couldn't do up her shoe laces (she still doesn't do them up even now, but that's not because she doesn't know how!) We are all looking forward to the next adventure of secondary school and all that goes along with it.

Busy times ahead, I'm off out to see a former school pal's band play tonight (Waiting For Katherine - you guys ROCK!), mudlarking at the Tower of London on Sunday (only allowed on that beach once a year), my surrogate son, J1 is coming to stay for a couple of days then Little Fink is off to Denmark with the Scouts for 10 days. http://www.naesbycentret.dk/frontpage.aspx The itinerary is immense...viking longboat racing, night hike and sleeping out in bivvies in the Danish countryside, trip to Copenhagen where they buy their own train ticket, lunch and see the sights, trip to Sweden to join the Jamboree and off to a Danish theme park. Phew.

Handyman

2011-07-13T08:13:00.000+01:00

Last night I said to Mr Fink, "The drainer plug hole is blocked again, can you fix it please?"
About 20 minutes later he said, "All done."

(That's not the whole tale but I never let the truth get in the way of a good story!)

Larks In The Park

2011-07-05T18:10:00.000+01:00

Sunday 21st August from 1pm

Summer Revels

Friends and Family invited to enjoy rounders in the park.

Bring a picnic, chairs cameras and any outdoor games/ entertainments

(kites, boules, Frisbee, poi, diablo etc etc)

We will bring the rounders kit and we'll have a jolly old time.

(If by any chance we should cancel, the notification will go up on here.)

Game - Set and Match

2011-06-22T19:18:00.000+01:00

OK, I'm going to crow, just for a minute.. Little Fink has been nominated to receive her school year's prize for Outstanding Achievement! Prize Giving on 13th July. How proud? Ok crowing over.

A beautiful afternoon, the sun shining, birds tweeting, wind blowing. 11 year old girl bouncing on her trampoline, proud Grandad standing by watching. "Come here Grandad." she says, offering her hand. "Not bloody likely!" says Shouty Grandad, "What are you up to?" I say, "Stick your tongue out dad." He does.
Quick as a flash, Little Fink stretches out her hand, pointed digit close to his mouth, an electric static spark shoots out the end of her finger and crackles as it shocks Shouty Grandad's tongue. Hilarity ensues. Another day at the funny farm.

You bought WHAT?

2011-06-19T18:09:00.000+01:00

Saturday the Fink clan descended on the Scout hut for the annual 50/50 auction. Anyone can donate an item and choose to either receive half the sale price or let the scouts have the whole amount.
Mr Fink was part of the IT crowd, helping log the bids and prices as they happened. Little Fink was mostly listening to her iPod and I was mostly trying to win one of the lovely bikes for her. There was also a golf trolley that Mr Fink was interested in - right at the end of the list.
The bike came up and I won it for a very reasonable sum, smiles all round. I then tried to sign/mouth to Mr Fink that I was keen to leave and go but wanted to know if he wanted me to stay and bid on the golf trolley. Mr Fink is not very good at charades and sign language. As I mimed 'golf' and 'trolley' and 'I go' getting more and more frustrated at his blank looks, the auctioneer said, "Madam, are you bidding?" "Erm, no, er, sorry." says I.

How embarrassing! The scouts did raise over a thousand pounds so all was well.

Sir Terry Pratchett - Choosing To Die

2011-06-13T22:36:00.000+01:00

Tonight Mr Fink and I watched Sir Terry Pratchett's documentary, Choosing To Die.
This was a poignant, sensitive and informative programme following Sir Terry's search for a dignified end to his progressive Alzheimer's disease.

We followed sufferers of MS, Alzheimers and Motor Neurone Disease (Astral, Mr Fink's mum died of this last year), we joined 2 brave men as they took the decision to take their own lives before they became incapacitated by their diseases. We listened to their symptoms, understood the daily struggles endured and those destined to come. We were graciously allowed to accompany them in their final hours and listen to their loved ones.

We may not all agree with the idea of 'assisted death' but I think, on balance, each person should be able to make their own choice, for or against. I work in the healthcare world, we do our damndest to provide dignity in life, talk about quality of life, prescribe or withold drugs on the balance of cost versus quality and duration of life. Surely in this modern age we should be able to decide, each of us - for ourselves, when our time is done?

If you missed Sir Terry's eloquent and moving documentary, I highly recommend it. (this film does contain one man's brave, final minutes. It's not scary or frightening, just intensely moving.)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0120dxp/hd/Terry_Pratchett_Choosing_to_Die/

ROFL (Roll On floor Laughing)

2011-06-12T18:20:00.000+01:00

I popped round to Shouty Grandad and nanny's house today as Little Fink and I had not seen them for a few weeks.
Shouty Grandad and Nanny have been touring the country in their camper van for the last 3 weeks. Shouty Grandad was regaling us with tales of his bad behaviour/attitude while he was away, Nanny shaking her head knowingly. Stories I shall pass on in due course, of course!

Grandad reminded me of something that happened a few years ago while they were on their travels in the camper with Little Fink. For safety reasons, Little Fink travels in the front, with Grandad driving. Nanny sits on the 'jump seat' - a little single seat behind the front passenger. the trio were heading for the Falkirk wheel in the middle of Scotland, Little Fink was navigating/arguing for/with Shouty Grandad. Shouty Grandad was folling 'brown' information signs, Little Fink had spotted signs for The Wheel, she bet Shouty Grandad a fiver that he was going the wrong way. As she shouted good naturedly, "THAT WAY!", Shouty Grandad hung a left, Nanny shot off the jump seat and landed on the floor of the camper, as she reached out to save herself, she accidentally pushed the button/handle on the cutlery drawer which locks it shut during transit.

When they had stopped fighting over the directions, Little Fink and Shouty Grandad heard the pitiful squeaking coming from the back of the van, they found Nanny, rolling across the carpet with the contents of the knife drawer all around her!

(That was 4 years ago, Little Fink still hasn't had her fiver!"
No relatives were seriously injured during the making of this story.)

My baby's back

2011-06-03T20:47:00.000+01:00

Little Fink is back from Scout camp. It always strikes me how grown up she is when she returns. Lots of wonderful camp stories of her with her friends, hiding bedrolls, getting battle scars, having police motorcyclists out on alert searching for them when they got lost on a bike ride (Sooooo glad I didn't know about that one till she got home), visiting theme parks, the railway museum "Don't talk to me about that!". The junk she's eaten, "I think I've had cake EVERY single day". The viking longboat Debbie spent 72 hours painting - she didn't realise it was to be the finale of the Viking battle and Ragnar The Red's final resting place - yes, they set it on fire - oh how scouts love fire! The friendships, talks and experiences.

What wonderful memories she'll have.

Am I jealous? No, because I have all my own memories from the camps I went on as a child.

Keep in touch with Little Fink

2011-05-31T08:17:00.000+01:00

http://www.hemel-scouts.co.uk/

If you know Little Fink, you can send her a message while she is at Scout camp in York using the above link.
You can email her - be warned, the messages are shown on a screen which everyone else can see too, so nothing embarrassing - please.

You can also check out a podcast/short video of what they have been up to each day. Saturday's isn't too exciting but Little Fink features in Sunday's one, especially at the end - look out for a lime green hooded top.

It's hike day today (Tuesday) so they'll be tucking into a hearty hot breakfast before heading off across the moors of Yorkshire for a day's hiking (fal da reee), later they'll be treated to a film in the marquee where they can rest their limbs and drink hot chocolate.

Ta ta snugglebunny

2011-05-28T10:06:00.000+01:00

Little Fink on the right, getting ready for the journey up to Snowball Plantation Scout Camp, York for their Viking themed camp - complete with Viking longboat fire funeral.
Like any child on the verge of being a teenager, she is mortified by any attempt of her parents trying to be, "Hip with the kids." or embarrassing. So, just to make sure she'd know how much I'm going to miss her I climbed on the minibus and shouted, "Bye Bye darling, mummy's going to miss her little Snugglebunny."
The girls thought this was really sweet, Little Fink just said, (and she was laughing at the time), "I hate you, you've ruined my life."
Mission complete!

Elderflower Wine Part I

2011-05-26T08:22:00.000+01:00

A bucket of fresh elderflowers, picked while the sun shone on them, add 2 gallons of very hot water, sugar, lemon juice and raisins, stir. The kitchen is filled with the most wonderful smell, fresh and light with a slight perfume. I've added something to kill any bacteria, tomorrow I shall add the yeast and transfer into the fermenting bucket. Can't wait!
We're getting ready to say bye bye to Little Fink for a week, she's off to Scout camp in York on Saturday.
Mud-larking on Sunday was brilliant, the expert guide was very enthusiastic and knowledgeable, lots of tat and rubbish brought back to sit in a box until the next time we go!

Here are some of the odds and ends Mr Fink and I collected - reading from left to right, top to bottom. Clay pipes - single use items, buy them pre-filled, smoke em and chuck em in the river. Mother of Pearl, pottery fragments. the donut object is a medieval pot lid, there is also a dark glass one, a glass rod, a couple of oyster shells (Victorian fast food) with strange square holes in, just under the centre pipe is a tiny fragment of Bellarmine Jug (the beard I think), the round stone with a hole in is a geode.

If you'd like to go Mud-larking, there are days in June where you don't need a licence and the expert is on hand, go to this website to find the dates. There is also a 'must not miss' opportunity to walk and look (no digging) for items on the beach outside traitors gate at the Tower of London in July. Check out the form here.

Patience is a Virtue - Apparently!

2011-05-19T20:52:00.000+01:00

Hmm yummy - Elderflowers - make wine/cordial from these

Gack - icky stinky cat-wee smelling flowers - do not pick these!

Mr Fink and Little Fink and I just got back from our local field, looking for elder trees, I'm hoping to make a demijohn of elderflower wine. We found some but the tree is so tall, think I need to take my 'crayfish pot grabber' along to get the branches down - of course I need to leave enough for the berries in the autumn (and for the birds too!)

My red wine has finished fermenting, I've added stabiliser, I'm not waiting for it to settle so I can syphon it off into demijohns/bottles. I had a minor panic as I appear to have a problem with my sense of smell and taste. For instance I cant smell when milk is off. Unless it's verging on the solid - I can't tell. Many times Little Fink has said, "Do I have to eat these cornflakes? They taste funny?" Only for me to find 'bits' in the milk.

So when I tasted the wine, I couldn't tell if it was vinegar or Merlot. So I enlisted Mr Fink. He has a reputation for being straight talking. (He once commented on a friend's home-made soup - "It's al-right but I wouldn't have it again." The verdict on the wine - "It's drinkable, it's not Rosemount, but it's drinkable." From Mr Fink - high praise indeed!

Off mudlarking on Sunday - woo hoo.

Shouty Grandad and the Garden Fork

2011-05-13T18:15:00.000+01:00

Last week at sailing I met up with one of my neighbours, her daughter was also sailing. We got chatting and it transpired that a week or so before, some horrible 'sorts' had burgled her garden shed, various items were stolen.
It suddenly occurred to me, a couple of weeks ago, I had spotted a garden fork laying on top of the garages near our house. Fearing the local oiks would use it to stab holes in the tender garage roofs, I confiscated it. That Wednesday, when Shouty Grandad came round, I told him about the fork, he took a shine to it and carried it off home.
It seems the fork was stolen from my neighbour's shed. The question is, how do I get it back off Shouty Grandad?

Never a dull moment

2011-05-08T18:55:00.000+01:00

Well, where to begin.
Little Fink had her first sailing lesson this week and really enjoyed it, next lesson on Thursday, she has also been preparing for her SATs next week.
Mr Fink has been playing squash and doing Ju jitsu.
I've been excited as my first 5 gallon batch of wine plop plops away fermenting.
We've received the kit list for the Scout camp in Denmark/Sweden - HOW MUCH!!!
Last night Mr Fink, myself and Mr and Mrs Hammer (Mrs Hammer also known as Louise...can you guess who is Thelma?) went to a Biker Club in a nearby town to see Waiting For Katherine, our local punk/ska/indie band - I was at school with the lead singer too. We managed to outstay the bikers who, by midnight were mostly drinking coffee! We had a brilliant time and the band were amazing.
Today we had Sunday lunch at Nanny and Shouty Grandad's.
Little Fink has been sent to tidy her room - she has 'previous' for getting distracted and not finishing (read 'starting') the job. She came down just now and advised us...."When I get distracted, I draw a line on my arm (hmm too much Doctor Who methinks?), each line means I must spend one minute in a cold shower." She already has three lines, she's only been up there half an hour.

2011-05-06T08:39:00.001+01:00

Another day, another project

2011-05-03T21:09:00.000+01:00

Yes, I know it looks like the bucket your mum used to boil nappies in...but it's not.

It is my new hobby, I hope to become a vintner (wine maker).

Mr Fink, sensitive to the need to keep me busy and occupied, gave me a wine making kit for Christmas and now that my crayfish activities have waned, I've decided to take up fermenting.

I've done the research, sterilized everything, mixed the grape concentrate, water and the wine yeast. Now to sit back and let nature do it's thing. the fermentation stage should get into full swing in a couple of days - if I've got the temperature of the room right.

My only worry is that I'm brewing this in the spare bedroom, if it explodes (if you believe the anecdotes, this happens frequently) we're going to have to redecorate!

Right, off to purchase a thermometer, hydrometer and extra long plastic stirring spoon off Ebay (I decided not to use the long stick we use to clean out the rat cage, after all).

My Stalker

2011-04-28T19:21:00.000+01:00

I work at the local hospital. This was the view that greeted me this morning.
Ever get the feeling you're being watched?
Spot the duck.

Psycho-Billie Rabbit

2011-04-27T19:43:00.000+01:00

(this is not my rabbit!)

Today dear friends, I set myself a task. Nanny and I were having a quiet moment in the sun shine in the garden when I had the bright idea that I would brush our rabbit, Billie.

Billie has never been tamed or handled by people. She was found on a lady's doorstep abandoned in a cardboard box. the lady, an experienced rabbit owner could not handle her so she put Billie up for adoption, as luck would have it, I was looking for a friend for my Freecycle bunny, Mr Chips. (A more friendly and loving rabbit you will not find. May he rest in peace.) Billie on the other hand is like a whirling dervish if you try to pick her up. She stamps her feet, lunges forward with claws showing, growls and bares her teeth. the one time I did manage to pick her up, she lifted her back end up over her head and raked me with her powerful back feet.

I took Billie (named after Billie Piper, popular Doctor Who sidekick) home and Mr chips and she fell in love. she, however did not fall in love with us. She's now been with us for 3 years and I have held her only once, a couple of months ago when my rabbit-guru, Agatha, groomed Billie for me.

So today i tricked her into the hutch, picked her up (wearing the thickest jumper i own) and cuddled her close, Nanny got the brush and did the deed. There was fluff EVERYWHERE. I haven't stopped sneezing. Afterwards I tried to make peace with Billie by offering an apple and a cream cracker but she turned her nose up. She did however cave in at the bag full of dandelions a little later.

I surveyed the damage to my skin and Nanny said, "Are you up to date with your tetanus?" cheers mum. I feel lockjaw coming on as I type!

Spring break

2011-04-25T17:58:00.000+01:00

We're back from 2 weeks in Cumbrian lake District , 'where the mountains meet the sea'.
Little Fink, Marsha and I spent a week of rain and yukky weather together in Aunty Joan's caravan by the sea. We met loads of family members at Aunty Joan's birthday party and Aunty Mary's family BBQ.
Then Mr Fink joined us and the weather turned all summery, we swam in the sea, went horseriding, kayaked on Coniston, sunbathed, read, painted, visited Whitehaven, Uncle John's farm on Corney fell (with chicks and lambs too) and had a hair raising trip to Gutterby. We were visited by cousin Brenda and Uncle John Bennett.
We slept a lot in the afternoon and the girls enjoyed great freedom.
The highlight of the trip? when Mr Fink, Little Fink and Marsha when kayaking on Consiton. The other families that landed their boats and canoes complained that their feet got wet during the 'dismount'. When the Fink Kayak landed, Mr Fink tried to get out and tipped the whole thing over, girls and all. Everyone on the bank thought it was very funny (me included!)

A Tale of Two Cities (London and Brighton)

2011-04-17T10:31:00.000+01:00

This is cousin Colin and Mr Fink. They completed their London to Brighton charity bike ride on Saturday.
Apparently the hills on the route were absolute killers, especially the infamous 'Devil's Dyke' on the approach to Brighton (I drove down it and I reckon it's easily a 1 in 10 incline).
My only worry came when I was waiting at the finish for my boys to arrive back, I spied one of the support team getting out of one of the vans, carrying Graham. All I could think of was, "If Graham is there, WHERE IS MR FINK?" I awkwardly asked the lady, "Where is the man that belongs to the heron? He's my husband...the man, not the heron...?) She advised me Graham had become tired on the hills and gave up but Mr Fink was bravely finishing the course. ;o)

Well done brave lads, you really earned that sponsor money.

Muvvers' Day

2011-04-03T22:18:00.000+01:00

Nanny, Little Fink and Shouty Grandad catching crayfish.

Mothers' Day started with a lovely gift from Little Fink, a little light metal detecting with Nanny on her own exclusive field (it was a Victorian sewage works in 1881!), then all home for shepherd's pie cooked by Little Fink. After dinner we decided to go and walk off our dinner and throw in a bit of crayfish catching. One of my traps went missing last week so I've only been getting 3-4 a day. Nanny and Little Fink took a couple of crab nets (shaped like Supadrug shopping baskets) and a packet of bacon and caught 9 monsters. I with my high tech authorised and approved crayfish trap, caught - zero!

Great fun was had by all and we made it home before the heavens opened!

Nine crayfish cooked and ready to be peeled, prior to joining their brethren in the freezer - nearly got enough for a feast!

If I Were A Bird Eyed Fly.

2011-03-31T13:14:00.000+01:00

Update on Mr Fink's (hubby) eyes - he went to Moorfield's today and they say the bump on the back of the eye is smaller and nothing to worry about - it will probably go away on it's own. The trouble with the vitreous humor is mild and not worthy of invasive remedy. Also he's been told there is no reason why he shouldn't continue to do his sports of squash and Ju Jitsu but when he asked if he'll ever play the piano, the Retinologist was said there was no hope!

Candles, Traps and the return of the Mercy Dash.

2011-03-31T07:41:00.000+01:00

It's a picture taken in my parent's bathroom at the weekend. It's shows a hard skin scraper and a candle.
Nanny (my mum) lives with Shouty Grandad (my dad) so you can imagine I've seen some odd things in their bathroom from time to time! nanny looked at me with a straight face and said, once she'd taken the hard skin off her feet, she rubbed them with a candle which makes them nice and soft. ???? (Well how come she still needs the foot scraper then?)

Little Fink (11 yo daughter) and I replaced the crayfish traps in the local river on Tuesday, we'd tried to get permission to locate them at a more secluded spot but there was no one around to ask so we used our regular place. Wednesday, Nanny and I went to check on them and 1 trap was missing. It looks like the rain had swollen the river causing one trap to move with the water. It appears the anchor string broke and fell in the water allowing the trap to become beached on the shallow gravel. A branch had recently been broken of a nearby tree (just call me Miss Marple) so I surmise that someone took the branch and manoeuvred the trap out of the water and away. . However, the loss of the trap was almost worth it, just to see Nanny knee deep in the river searching for the missing trap wielding an extendible decorating pole with a big hook taped to the end. (3 crayfish in the remaining trap, killed, cooked and frozen)

On Sunday I had arranged to go metal detecting with Nanny, the fields our club has permission to dig on are about an hours drive away. Hold that thought......
Many years ago, I used to share a house with KT, we were young and daft, had parties and loads of fun. We encountered the phenomenon known to us as The Mercy Dash. This was generally accepted to refer to the urgent trip to the toilet required after a night on the beer - if you know what I mean. It's been 13 years since KT and I shared a house and I had forgotten about the fabled Mercy Dash.....until Sunday.
So imagine, if you will, me - we've been walking the fields for an hour, no loos for miles around, then suddenly it's Mercy Dash time. Oh boy did we get home quick! The downside of metal detecting.

Bike ride update

2011-03-22T22:05:00.000Z

Mr Fink and Little Fink completed a 50 mile bike ride at the weekend. 27 miles on Saturday and 20 on Sunday. Mr Fink said he would have been fine apart from having to get back on the bike on Sunday!
On Sunday evening we had 2 very sore botties!
Mr Fink has a little under 4 weeks until his cycle ride from London to Brighton. If you want to support him and the work of the charity organising the ride (CARE International are on the ground in earthquake torn Japan and in other less industrialised countries) please consider a donation to http://www.justgiving.com/Allan-Barton (please tick the box for 'gift-aid' it costs you nothing and the charity gets extra money).

Mr Fink has promised to take Graham T Heron and wear a VERY loud hawaiian shirt to thank you all for your generosity so far. Imagine what he will do if he raises even more money.

8 Crayfish down! Hundreds to go.

2011-03-15T19:37:00.000Z

Ok, so now I have caught 8 crayfish, eaten 3, 2 frozen ready for a feast and 3 in the freezer awaiting despatch. I'm really looking forward to cooking properly with these, although I have to admit, they do give me the heeby jeebys when they are alive and flapping their tails and claws!

Just spent a lovely afternoon with Shouty grandad and Nanny, rootling through old photos and listening to Shouty Grandad's antics with his recent bed purchase. He's currently waiting for a £50 'goodwill' gesture from the bed guy and 2 new beds to be delivered - Don't ask!

Yabbie Dabbie Dooo

2011-03-13T11:13:00.000Z

I caught them - I caught them! vicious little blighters they are too and they don't half crawl fast. They are currently residing in the freezer to render them insensible (as per RSPCA instructions) then I'll cut the nervous system, removing the alimentary canal (gut) prior to boiling them for 10 mins and scoffing them with hubby and daughter.
The traps are repositioned to see if i can get a few more for friends and family!

Crayfish countdown begins

2011-03-12T16:55:00.000Z

The traps are in the water! It took me ages to find a decent spot, it wasn't deep enough in much of the river. The access to the water was tricky too, most of the ground near to the water wasn't ground at all, it was interlaced reeds, which I found out when I stood on it and started to sink!
I've baited the traps with Felix, prawn flavour cat food! Hopefully no one will steal the traps and when I go check on them tomorrow, we'll have crawdads for tea?
Watch this space......

Eye's Right

2011-03-09T22:02:00.000Z

Mr Fink update. He doesn't have a detached retina, which is good news, they don't have anything they can do to improve the 'shadowing' he sees which is a shame but hey ho. He's off for another appointment in 6 weeks with a check up in 6 months. (Thank you for everyone's messages of concern.) xxx

Today my mum was asking me if our plumber was CORGI registered as their boiler was playing up (the central heating, not Shouty Grandad!). I said, No he wasn't but I'm sure someone local would be able to service it. Mum, with out batting an eyelid, came back with, "I don't think it needs a service, it needs a complete overall." I kid you not.

In other news, I broke my rule never to attempt cooking anything that doesn't go in the microwave today, I made a banoffe pie. Ginger-nuts on the bottom, evap. milk/butt and sugar caramel on top. I was too impatient to let it cool, took it out of the fridge too early not it looks less like a neat banoffee pie than a spreading banoffee cow-pat. (Tastes great though!)

Eye Eye What's all this then?

2011-03-09T08:24:00.000Z

Feeling a little bleary eyed this morning. Have I been living it up at stringfellows? Moonlighting as a bouncer through the night? No, I've been waiting with Mr Fink to see an eye specialist.

Mr fink has been experiencing strange vision over the last few weeks so had it checked out and was waiting for his appointment (6 weeks away) to come round. (Last year Mr Fink went to a well known company to have surgery to improve his eyesight, they took the old lens out of his eye and replaced it with a bionic one).

Over the last couple of days his vision has been getting more troubling so we decided to go to A&E. Dropped Liitle Fink off at The Glums' and toddled off. Our local A&E triage was very quick, the nurse advised us there would be no eye specialists around for 2 days so if we were worried - go straight to Specialists. I drove to Moorfields eye Hospital, Islington, London. Again the triage was very quick, to see the specialist though took 4 hours as there was only one night doctor on. The nurse came out to advise us of the revised waiting time and some of the patients got really narky - I felt like standing up and saying - if you had an emergency, you would be seen quicker - that's the way it works....but there were more of them than me!
Anyway, Mr Fink was seen, he has some kind of cyst on the inside part of his eye (retina or choroid - not sure yet) and could he come back in the morning for further tests? 9am, yes 9am. So we arrived home at 1am, up again at 6.30am to drop him at the train station. I've, picked Little Fink up from The Glums' where she spent the night and we're getting ready for our day.

Poor ole Mr Fink. xxx

The Wonders of Modern Technology

2011-03-03T23:35:00.000Z

Yesterday a techie guy from the IT department came to my office and kindly installed a piece of equipment i neither need or asked for. When I told him I hadn't asked for the security card reader, nor has a PIN number for one, he just shrugged and said, he had a work order to install one so here it is. He put his card in it to test it, told me it worked, cleared up and went off.
Today I received a remote software update on my computer for a new piece of software which I have no requirement for, training to use or access to open.
Tomorrow is someone going to come and give me a new job or are they preparing my computer ready for my replacement?
Worried?

56 Miles on a bike - Good luck with that!

2011-03-02T20:51:00.000Z

Allan's Just Giving website click on here to donate.........thank you - he needs all the incentive he can get.

My lovely hubby is undertaking a charity bike ride next month, London to Brighton - 56 miles.
Last year when his mum was ill he met up with his cousin who does lots of charity bike rides (London to Paris is just one) and good ole Mr Fink decided he would do something worthwhile for charity too.

How's his training going? Well, he's bought all the gear, polished his cycle clips and checked out where all the hills are on the route....he's only actually been for 1 ride so far and that was with Little Fink.

If you can find it in your wallet to donate a couple of quid (don't forget to tick the 'yes' to gift aid box - it's free money for the charity) i will keep you up to date with his training regimen.

On the other hand, if that total isn't rising steadily, I'll post pictures of him in his Lycra cycling shorts.

(Jesting aside - thank you) Click here to donate - thank you

Catch Up!

2011-02-26T17:19:00.001Z

Well, What a bizarre and busy half term I have had!
MONDAY - came back from a lovely weekend in York.
TUESDAY - household chores, spring cleaning.
WEDNESDAY - spent a lovely afternoon at my friend's house, was looking forward to a curry with a work colleague in the evening but when I arrived, they were just starting on the mints and coffee - Oops - how embarrassing!
THURSDAY - Went to the V&A in London with The Glums, very amusing day, the children were not keen on the museum so by way of a bribe we said we'd go and have a look at Oxford Street and shopping afterwards! Mrs Glum's son, Bambino (son of Bambi) said he would like to visit the Gibson guitar store near Bond Street if possible. So I looked it up on me superduper Myphone, 23, South Molten Street, just round the corner. We looked and looked, number 23 is 'Brown's'. We found a bobby, he said there was no guitar shop in South Molten Street - pah - what did he know? We found 'Gibson & Sons' at 1st floor, 23 South Molten Lane. I rang the intercom and we waited expectantly. No one responded, we tried again. still no answer. I checked the internet again, only to find out it was Gibson & Sons ESTATE AGENTS. Oh how embarrassing - we ran back to Oxford Street. (but if you type 'gibson guitar shop' into Google, it shows that address????)
FRIDAY - Took Billie Psychorabbit to Agatha's Annexe where she was groomed (Billie, not Agatha!) and she behaved perfectly, I even had a little cuddle.
Little Fink and I took the rats and Harry the cat to the vet. He wouldn't go in the cat carrier, kept spreading his arms wide, then sticking his head out so I couldn't shut the door. He yowled, all the way to the vets, becoming more and more insistent - I realised he had done a wee in the box. Oh the smell! We got to the vet's, I tipped the box up on it's end to empty the urine, that wasn't soaked into his coat, into a drain.
The vet diagnosed Harry the cat had fractured his lower jaw requiring it to be wired together for 4 weeks. Poor old boy! Later, dropped Little Fink off at overnight Scout camp - just as the heavens opened, then headed off to The Horn Reborn in St Albans for an 80's tribute band The Nearly New Romantics. FANTASTIC night.
SATURDAY - Made it home by 2.30am (designated driver) and was up again at 7.30am to pick a very muddy, but happy, Little Fink up from Lees Wood in Rickmansworth. Picked up Harry (£80, which I didn't think was bad, considering.)
I think I'll go back to work for a rest!

York

2011-02-22T22:08:00.000Z

Last weekend we (Mr Fink, Little Fink and I) went to visit The Foggs in sunny I mean snowy York.
The Foggs have settled (for the time being) in a beautiful house near a canal in the East Riding of Yorkshire, they have VERY quiet neighbours (the house is near a graveyard where you can sit and watch the sun go down.)
We have eaten and drunk an obscene amount, at least 7-8 bottles of red, 2 bottles of champagne (The Foggs fav. tipple) plus various beers (I'll come to the food in a mo. We've visited the town centre of York - which I love - I could spend days just in one shop (it's got antique jewellery and metal detecting artefacts in glass cases on two floors.) We went to Scarborough, with legendary fish and chips (baring in mind, the whole Fink family share a portion of fish and chips at home - here we were looking at 2 fish and an enormous portion of chips - per person!) Scarborough was clean, full of amusements and was (true to the advert) bracing!
We watched films, ate a vast amount of food, including a Chinese meal in a restaurant - I'l never seen so much grub, the Scarborough fish and chips (which deserve a second mention), killer shepherds pie and....haggis.
I love haggis.
All in all we had the most wonderful relaxing weekend, caught up with good friends and enjoyed top hospitality (must be quite disappointing when they stay with us?)
(Oh and the breakfast at The Balloon Tree is the best. http://www.theballoontree.co.uk/the_cafe.html I would love to return and sample the Roulade - it looked magnificent.)
Anyhoo, a big thank you to The Foggs (named for their propensity for world travel) and hope to reciprocate soon. x (Follow The Foggs at http://blog.ouronebigadventure.com/ )

What's that noise?

2011-02-16T19:43:00.000Z

Last week, my workplace upgraded it's MS Office suite to 2007. (Finger on the pulse eh? that's the NHS for you. x love it really x)
Now, 75% of my job involves a huge spreadsheet which contains lots of complex calculations which basically runs our department. It was designed by a clever chap, on Excel 2007. For ages I've been using it on 2003 at work and it barely stands up. So i consider myself to be the person in the department who can make the MOST use of Office 2007.
So joy of joys when I heard we were getting the update. All week I left my PC on to receive the overnight remote update, every morning another batch of my colleagues awoke to the joys of 2007's ribbon. I however did not.
I contacted our 'help'desk (no pun intended) who advised me the operating system I was running (2000) was not compatible with Office 2007.
Sooooooo I mooched around, found a little used computer that had been updated, swapped it with mine and hit the ground running (there was a lengthy email chain between the helpdesk and I regarding asset numbers/locations, qualifications required for plugging in network cables etc but I won't bore you with those).

Anyway, I can now do the job for which I'm paid in the manner in which it should be done. But, what's that clicking noise? It was coming from the fan at the back of the computer. I looked, an enormous spider had crawled into the fan vent - and died. The fan was hitting it's carapace and making the noise.
I unplugged everything, got out my tweezers and leg by brittle leg, picked the dead spider out of my 'new' computer. Plugged it all back together - Presto!

My boss arrives, notices mayhem and cables everywhere, "Computer problems? What was wrong with it?" he asks. Quick as a flash, I respond, "It had a bug in it."
If you are scared of spiders, DO NOT SCROLL DOWN.

Avianophobia

2011-02-14T19:47:00.000Z

This morning my colleague chased Theresa the Duck away from nesting in the shrubbery at the entrance of the hospital. about 20 minutes later, Theresa was on the roof of the hospital with her mate, eyeing up the pigeon netting as a nesting site.
I headed up the stairs, 2 flights (no pun intended), tried to open the window to shoo them away but for health and safety reasons, the windows only open 2 inches.
So I grabbed a piece of paper and pushed my hand through the gap and shoo'd them off that way.
What I didn't realise was I had been 'performing' for the patients queueing up to collect their prescriptions from the hospital pharmacy. Many a wry smile as I slunk off, muttering, murmur murmur, bloody ducks, murmur murmur.
It's going to be a race between the laying of the eggs and the men in white coats. Ha ha he he

Gotcha

2011-02-09T15:16:00.000Z

Finally, after 5 weeks, £10, 4 cable ties and reams of duct (I said 'duct' ) tape later, Dean is captured.

Yesterday I had finished work for the day and gone to pick Little Fink up from school, when I received a call from my boss, "Guess who's in the trap?". "I'll be there is 15 minutes." I said.

Little Fink asked if she could release Dean, "No way, I've waited over a month for this!" I reasoned.

The final moment of glory came when the doctor I PA for saw me coming back into the building with the empty trap and said, "What makes you think you'll catch him today after 5 weeks of trying?"

How smug was I?

Dean was smuggled through the hospital to the front entrance and released. He flew to the top of the building, strutted and preened, then was gone.

Today has been weird without him, I keep looking out of the window to see him.

I saw a great documentary on alpacas this week, I wonder if the NHS would pay for one and we could keep it in the quad?

Two Pronged Approach to Pigeon Capture

2011-02-03T20:05:00.000Z

This is the scene outside my little window at work.My 'Heath-Robinson' affair on the left and a borrowed squirrel trap on the right.
I called Dean down, he had a look but would not come near. The squirrel trap has been left overnight, so if he is hungry and brave, he'll be ready for me in the morning.
I have to catch this pigeon soon. a) if I don't the exterminator will get him and b) if I don't, the cooing noises from my colleagues in reception will never stop!
1 day left for Dean.

Dean - a choice

2011-02-01T20:58:00.000Z

On Monday I put the trap out with food under it, Dean came and had a look, turned his beak up and flew off. at the end of my working day I removed the food and left the un-set trap behind.
This morning I called him, put the food down, set the trap and waited, he came down, got very near but didn't eat or get trapped. A little later, a man walked past?????? I opened the window and called, "Coooeeeee". It transpires this guy, James, is from the company that put up the pigeon netting. He had been alerted to the pigeon under the net and was planning to return to remove Dean, "Dead or alive!".
I told James I was trying to trap Dean, "With what?" he asked. I showed him the trap and he just laughed. When I asked for his phone number so I could call and cancel his return trip when I catch Dean. He laughed again, but gave me the number anyway.

After James had gone and at the end of my working day, I removed the food again and had a little chat with Dean. I told him the situation and advised him it was in his best interest to get with the plan.

He has 3 days to comply.

Can pigeons laugh?

2011-01-29T17:46:00.002Z

Yesterday the humane pigeon trap arrived. I played and played with it and eventually got it to work.
Today I went to work, knowing that there wouldn't be any one there to try and catch Dean the Pigeon.
When I arrived I knew I was on a hiding to nothing as there was still grain left there from yesterday, so Dean obviously wouldn't be hungry enough to come and play with my trap. However I set it, made a cup of tea and waitied. And waited, and waited. Not a dickie bird.

After an hour I retrieved the empty trap. Dean was peering down at me from one of the buildings, looking very healthy, I swear I heard him laughing.

I'll not feed him over the weekend, then come Monday, he will be mine. mwahhahahahah.

Return of Theresa

2011-01-20T15:54:00.000Z

Another good week in the weight loss stakes.
At work Dean the pigeon is thriving well and attracting his own fan club! Humane trap still en route from USA.
Theresa the Duck is back, with her Drake. She can't access the quadrangle due to the netting so she's taken up residence in the shrubbery next to the entrance to the x-ray department.
The last time she did this, she was escorted, along with her fluffy brood, down the busy hill, across the road, past the market, across another busy road and finally to the water - by the maintenance guys from the hospital. She is one weird duck.

Hubby and I might be going to jive lessons on Monday

Fox River Conspiracy

2011-01-16T13:59:00.004Z

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=322729&id=598090694&l=f84fc573cb
use this link to check out the other pictures from the night - they're a bit blurry as people were jiving!

Last night, Mr Fink, Mr and Mrs Hammer, Silver Surfer and I went to our local rugby club to see a live rockabilly band, Fox River Conspiracy.

We had a terrific night, fantastic music from the 50's and 60's, Eddie Cochran, Elvis, Gene Vincent, Buddy Holly. The authentic twangy rockabilly guitar, the thumping double bass and the vocals were all there. What a great sound.

There was much dancing and drinking. Can't wait till the next time they play. I also met up with Smithy from The Blues Blah Brothers, I haven't seen him for a couple of years and it was good to catch up.

All in all a wonderful evening of local, live music. You can't beat it.

Get fit, stay fit.

2011-01-13T18:17:00.000Z

The pigeon netting outside my office at the hospital was replaced last week. It is supposed to stop the pigeons roosting and fouling the enclosed quadrangle (previous home of Theresa The Duck). Unfortunately, this pigeon hid while the guys put up the netting and now he is trapped.
We've decided to call him Dean for no particular reason. The RSPCA have been and said they can't catch him as the 'ceiling' of netting is about 30 feet high and he just flies off. They suggested RENTOKIL!!! The RSPCA suggested Rentokil!
Anywho, I've started to feed him, I've ordered a humane pigeon trap off Ebay (the cheapest one in UK was £30 so I have one coming from the US).
Can Dean hang on until the trap arrives? Stay tuned to find out.

I've started my get fit campaign, I'm hoping to go to Australia in 2012 and need to loose weight so I'm not a big, fat, uncomfortable lump on the plane and the beach. I'm swimming (30 lengths in 30 mins so far) 5 times a week and watching what and how much i eat. First week 6lb lost, only got another 5 stones to go.

Hippo Gnu Deer to Ewe

2011-01-04T21:04:00.002Z

Well, Happy New Year to you all. We had a terrific Christmas with family, friends and lots of silly games - particularly homemade Deal or no Deal. Nanny made a spectacular Christmas dinner, so good I didn't have room for pudding! We spent time with the Glums, more great food and daft games. New Year's Eve we were invited to one of the Four Musketeers' house for a party which turned into a karaoke fest. We left before the shots started to be drunk as we had a beach date set up for New Year's Day. We will be staying next year tho - if invited. (Judging by the hangover reports the next day - it was a monumental party!)

New Year's Day, Nanny, Mr Fink, Little Fink, me, the Glums and Glumdog (fox terrier) went to Worthing in West Sussex. We had dry, crisp weather, a lovely walk up the beach, fish and chips al fresco and lots of beach combing. We finished with tea and sandwiches on the promenade, Mrs Glum brought her little primus stove and had freshly boiled water for the tea. We did get a few odd looks from passers by, we also got lots of people wishing us happy New Year.

Mr Fink is finally loosing the plot. He went to the cupboard to get a tin tuna for dinner, reported that there was none and walked away. I checked and there were 2 tins right at the front of the shelf?????

He pout the water on to boil for pasta, sat down, watched TV for 40 minutes, went back in the kitchen, steam and condensation everywhere. He just turned to me and said, "In 8 years time, I'll be elligible to get insurance from SAGA." Hmm, it shows!

We all wish you a happy and healthy new year. xxx

Poor Matt

2010-12-20T10:51:00.002Z

Did I tell you that several weeks ago I had a dream that Matt Baker (Strictly Come Dancing, Blue Peter, Countryfile) was going to marry me if he won Strikly? I didn't? We it happened, the dream that is.
I chose the colour scheme for the wedding, rhubarb and custard, organised my friends to be bridesmaids and flowergirls - do you know how hard it is to get 40 yr old women to wear velvet knickerbockers?

Then on Saturday the big day - The Strikly Final. I couldn't join my entourage due to adverse weather conditions - boy did I mutter and swear all afternoon as the snow kept falling - so we communicated via Facebook. Me in me farthingale and them drinking Pernod & Black 10 miles away.

The dances were done and the voting began, I looked for the phone to vote for Matt - Little Fink had stolen it because she wanted Kara to win. DOH!

At the end of the day Matt came second to Kara, a very worthy winner. Matt was gracious in defeat and I'm sure I saw a tear in his eye when he looked at me down the camera? Heigh Ho, so i packed away the dress and the bustle and the wings and thought about what could have been.

It's only a little snow!

2010-12-18T13:31:00.000Z

Have you looked out of the window? What a pain! 4 inches in the last 2 hours. Yesterday I was at work when it started at 10.30am, I received a call from the school at 11.45am, they were closing the school to make sure the teachers could get home. Lightweights!
I left me office, armed with homework, and made for my car. I think I would have been able to get it out of the Consultants car park which slopes at about 15 degrees. The problem was, the hill the hospital is built on was gridlocked with vehicles. Not moving unless they were sliding. I didn't even switch the engine on, locked up and set off walking the mile to the school. As I crested the third and final hill, one hour later my phone rang. It was the school secretary, "Are you coming to pick Little Fink up?" I was incensed, unfortunately due to my lack of breath and pounding chest I couldn't say exactly what I felt - only to reassure her I was tramping through the snow to be there. What a c*w!

Anyway, my girlfriends and I had planned a Strikly Come Dancing Final 'Girls' Night In" tonight but the weather seems like it might have put paid to that. Also the weather has prevented the Asdaman from visiting with my shopping too. Grrr.

Perfect, now the cat has just been sick on the carpet. Joy to the world and goodwill to all men? Bah Humbug!
;o)

Hard Work Pays Off

2010-12-14T23:17:00.000Z

I had THE phone call yesterday, my course tutor (Mrs Clooney) called tell me the results of my exam for Level 3 Medical Terminology. I achieved a distinction (92% or more). I am really chuffed, all those night of forcing myself to do my homework, of bugging Mr Fink and Little Fink to test me - even now Little Fink will pop up with "What is the meaning of 'osteoporosis'?"

So I'll be having a little celebration on Saturday, in tandem with the Strikly final. COME ON MATT!

On Saturday we had the annual Buncefield Bash, where The Finks and our friends gather at Chez Fink to celebrate NOT being blown to smithereens 5 years ago by the Buncefield explosion. We had Donuts on The Washing Line game, The Chocolate Game (BigMac cheated AGAIN) and a couple of others. Mr Fink excelled himself this year with the indoor fireworks. He'd purchased a confetti canon. The audiences faces were a picture as he was trying to set it off, a mixture of anticipation and fear!

Brilliant - made possible by our friends and family.

He loves me!

2010-12-03T17:08:00.000Z

A few weeks ago I had a dream that Stephen Fry and I were engaged to be married. This morning i sent him a message on Twitter. This afternoon he sent me a message back. (He has over 2 million followers yet he still sent me a message! Coooooool) I luv 'im.

Flip flops in the Snow

2010-11-28T18:42:00.000Z

This morning I planned to get up, feed the cat, make a cuppa and go back to bed with Mr Fink. I started down the stairs, called the cat to come too. He did, raced me down the stairs as usual, got under my foot, I slipped on him and crashed down the stairs, damaging my toe in the process.

Needless to say I can't put shoes or socks on. It's just started to snow so it looks like I'm going to look a proper nutter tomorrow walking to work with flip flops on in 3 inches of snow. On the bright side, perhaps the cold snow will stop it throbbing?

Oh, and yes, the cat is fine.

What ever next?

2010-11-17T19:04:00.000Z

Nanny and Shouty Grandad were playing with the metal detectors in their back garden. Nanny found a few odds and sods, nails and such. Grandad had a terrific signal and started to dig. when nanny looked out of the window, he had dug a hole about 2 feet square and twice as deep. He found - a 1970's frying pan. (Nanny has chucked it in the bin twice but it may make an appearance in the cupboard if Grandad gets his way!)

Today Shouty Grandad dropped Little Fink off after horse riding. He began to recount his latest tussle with commercial enterprises. He'd spotted an advert for a free copy of Which? magazine which would detail everything you need to know about retirement and pensions. Right up Grandad's street as he is fast approaching the age. He phoned the company who proceeded to try and flog him a 12 month subscription. Grandad started to run out of excuses not to take out the 'tie-in' when out of his mouth came the following. "I don't want the subscription, to be honest, I can't read. I only want the pensions book and my grandaughter has agreed to read it to me." He has no shame. (yes he did get the booklet)

How much fun can you have at breakfast

2010-10-29T12:50:00.000+01:00

This is my surrogate son The Joker and Little Fink, this morning for breakfast they decided to have grapes. Being the lively youngsters that they are, they always find the fun in everything and decided to have a competition to see how many grapes they could fit in their mouths. Little Fink = 16, Joker = 18. they could have had more but we ran out of grapes. By the power of the tinterwebby we found out that the world record for closed mouth grapage is 37 and open mouth is 116!

Never a dull moment round here - that's for sure!

Beer Fridge and Cadavers

2010-10-24T17:14:00.000+01:00

The toilet seat fixings on Shouty Grandad's loo broke, so he repaired them with modified bolts and a bit of old bicycle inner-tube. When I visited, he had just completed the repair and this was the sight that greeted me. I said to him, "If you need 4 screwdrivers and a torch to go to the toilet, you need to go see a doctor!

This week Little Fink and I visited the local shop. I was standing in the queue when I heard an almighty crash come from the aisle where Little Fink was last seen. I rushed to the scene, to find Little Fink on her hands and knees, head down and crashed head first into the bottom of the beer fridge. She was fine but there was a massive dent in the fridge!

Shouty Grandad has been up to his old tricks again. He and Nanny were visiting a charity shop last week. Shouty Grandad fancied a sit down in the large leather sofa on display, he rested his head back and shut his eyes. Nanny browsed and finally returned to Shouty Grandad who was being closely observed by a concerned elderly lady. "Come on Grandad I'm ready to go now." Said Nanny. As Shouty Grandad came to and noticed the old lady, she mouthed quietly, "Thank God! I thought he was dead!"

Shouty Grandad has previous for this. Once, he was hoovering out the back seats and floor of the car, noticed how comfy the back seat was so laid back in the sun and fell asleep. The neighbour checked him 3 times before having the courage to pull on his legs. "Oh Shouty, I thought you were dead!" he told him afterwards.

Poor Laura

2010-10-13T22:09:00.002+01:00

Long time no speak.
Yesterday was the funeral of Astral, Mr Fink's mum. A wonderful lady, always smiling, even through the trials of Motor Neurone Disease she was good humoured and made caring for her a joy and never a chore.
There were less tears than i thought there would be, but then the families are all good natured and see the brighter side of life. As the hearse arrived and the many bouquets were placed on mum's coffin, I and my sister in law decided to head off to the Crematorium. As we walked to Laura (my little green car with daisy stickers all over it) the families gathered to see the hearse off. The big black car was blocking the road so I turned Laura in the road and reversed up onto the kerb to give me room to finish the manoeuvre. BOING! I hit a metal lamppost and it wobbled. I noticed more than one of the gathered smirking!

No harm done to the lamppost and just a scratch to Laura's bumper which will be easily covered up with another daisy.

Poor old Laura and I were in trouble again today when I was driving up a hill on the way to pick Little Fink up from school after I finished work. I saw a police officer with a speed gun pointing in my direction, he showed me three fingers in the internationally recognised symbol of...... of what??? I didn't know. So I pulled over a short way up the road (there way a car behind me). I asked the officer if everything was ok and did he want to speak to me, he said, "You were going so fast, you couldn't even stop." I replied, "I would have stopped if you had shown me the sign for stop, but you didn't." Apparently I was doing 33mph in a 30mph zone. Fair enough I was in the wrong but did the police officer have to be quite so arrogant in dealing with me?

And the three fingers? apparently, that means 'thirty miles an hour'. You live and learn.

Stop Press - Shouty Grandad interviewed by Police

2010-09-26T22:33:00.000+01:00

This morning Shouty Grandad and Nanny joined me for a little gentle sloe picking. As Shouty Grandad and I enjoyed a hot cup of tea in the entrance to the field he said, "I got stopped by the Police last week, I didn't tell your mam."
Oh brother, the thoughts that ran through my head - his driving is notorious, he likes to save money on running repairs to his camper van so uses the brakes very infrequently. He often boasts that he has never had to buy new brake pads. So I had to admit to myself that I wasn't surprised.
However, as the tale unfolded it transpired that he was standing at the bus stop near Sainsbury's chatting to one of the regular old lady's who wait for the the bus, when a police car pulled up, a lady police officer got out and took Shouty Grandad to one side.
She asked him how long he'd been there (about 10 mins), where had he been? (Sainsbury's, hence shopping bags), had he been over the park at Verulamium? (to the swimming pool an hour before but not in the grounds).
She seemed satisfied with his answers, did a police check on his name and address, all clear. She then explained that he matched the description of someone they were looking for in the immediate area, the only discrepancy was the suspect was a 40 year old man. Shouty Grandad quipped, "Well love, if you think I look 40, you can put the cuffs on me now and take me away!"

What crime had the suspect, they were looking for, committed?

Indecent Exposure, (a flasher).

Holy Dawkins is there no end to Shouty Grandad's shame?

Tis The Season to be Jolly.

2010-09-26T21:26:00.000+01:00

Stage 1 - Gather Ye Ingredients, Sloes, Sugar and GIN, lots of GIN

Stage 2. Wash, destalk and despider ye sloes, prick them with ye olde spiky cat brush.

Stage 3. 500mls gin, 400g sloes, 150g sugar, shake shake shake till mid December

Today I have mostly been Christmas (apologies for using the 'C' word in September) shopping with my mum and dad, we went to a local hedgerow and picked about 10kg of sloes. Then I went to the local supermarket and bought 11 x 70cl bottles of gin and a 5kg bag of sugar (and something for dinner! Imagine the funny looks I got on a Sunday afternoon!)

The sloes are now steeping gently in the sugar and gin, by mid December they will flavour and colour the gin, which I will strain and decant into gift bottles for Christmas pressies.

A good day's work. (Any suggestions where I can get cheap or free 500ml glass bottles with lids would be most welcome. The cheapest on the interwebs I've found is £2 each plus postage.

Dig Dig Digaroonie

2010-09-12T20:02:00.000+01:00

This weekend, the Fink Family, Mr, Mrs and Little, plus Nanny went off to deepest Oxfordshire (near Wantage) to the Weekend Wanderers Metal Detecting Rally. This was 3 days of metal detecting across 21 fields, evening entertainment (casino, live band, bucking bronco all in the on site barns) and lots of good food and cider.

We met many of the metal detecting buddies I converse with on various detecting forums and gained a lot of knowledge from them. What a smashing bunch of people. I held a 'gold noble' (a gold coin from the 14th century, about the size of a 50p, beautifully ornate and as fresh as the day it was created despite being 700 years old) which the guy in the next pitch to us had found on Saturday, He was interviewed by Dr Alice for Digging For Britain and our rally will be a feature in a December episode.

Nanny and I didn't have any luck at all but Little Fink came up trumps. One of the detectorists from the forum I go on was so impressed by her enthusiasm for history, he gave her one of his metal detectors. So we couldn't be more lucky than that. Little Fink also found a piece of 'worked flint' which would be between 4000 and 2500 years old, Mr Fink found a large folded lead sheet and I found a lead ball (either a weight or a musket ball). Nanny found the biggest horseshoe known to man!

On Friday night we all went to the barn for Westons' cider and to chat to the other rallyists. Later in the evening Little Fink was getting tired so Nanny offered to go back to the tent with her. On the way they visited the portaloo, while Little Fink was in there, a drunk couple were having a domestic nearby, Nanny got nervous and crammed in the portaloo with Little Fink. Just at that moment the guys from the adjacent tent arrived back in their Transit van and accidentally bumped it into the portaloo. Cue screams and panic from inside the plastic toilet! No harm done, thankfully.

All in all we had a brilliant weekend, learned loads and made lots of new friends.

New Phone blues

2010-09-08T08:32:00.000+01:00

I have a swanky new Android phone, I've spent the last few days getting to grips with it's new features. One thing I wasn't banking on, when I enter my first name, it is not in the lexicon so it is automatically changed to 'Behind'. How embarrassing!

Cage Free from Toilet Duck

2010-08-27T19:21:00.000+01:00

I bought one of those new 'cage less' toilet fresheners, I used it in the downstairs bathroom, Mr Fink used it in the upstairs bathroom.

Can you guess which one of us read the instructions?

What's the difference between Doctors and Ducks?

2010-08-25T21:25:00.000+01:00

You can herd ducks.

Yes, Theresa The Duck is back. You might remember a couple of months ago she decided that the grassy quadrangle surrounded by hospital buildings on 4 sides would be a good place to rear a family? Those ducklings perished, we thought due to her being disturbed off the nest by Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Well she's back. Last week she had 9 ducklings, today she has 3. I think a combination of uncovered drainage holes, possible rodent predation and becoming cold while mum is off feeding may have killed the first 6. (If I'd lost 6 kids in a week, Social Services would be round like a shot!)

Anyway, I've reinstated the pond (large deep sided plastic tray for cleaning BBQ grills), pinched some chick crumb from Mrs Glum, erected a small shelter (top of kitty litter tray) and redesigned the ramps to allow the ducklings to get off the path and back on the grass when they get stuck. the reception staff had reinforced the barrier to prevent them falling down the fire escape last week.

Yesterday I was visited by an irate secretary from the floor above, waving a cardboard box and sporting a bad attitude. She had arrived to 'rescue' the ducks and release them as the mother duck was distressed. I showed her the environment, taught her duck speak. Mother "Quack, you OK kids?", Kids, "Yes mum, we're OK, are you OK?" and so on and so forth. after a 10 minute natural history talk she left her cardboard box with me, turned and said, "I'm so glad you're looking after them, thank you for caring."
She'd wanted to knock my block off about half an hour ago! I prefer ducks to people some days.

It's a Holi Holiday

2010-08-13T07:05:00.000+01:00

This is the sight that greets me most mornings, Billie The Bunny waiting patiently for her treat. Yes, she is sitting on the skateboard. Stuff like this just seems normal here these days!
Well, we're almost packed and ready to go oop North for our week's holiday. Just the final bits and the packed lunch to sort out. We've invited Little Fink's pal Marsha (my surrogate daughter) to join us this year and the highlight of their trip is to go horseriding down the beach at Silecroft on Thursday. Hopefully it won't rain as hard as it did last year, but if it does - so what. We're not camping so I don't really mind! We'll be collecting Little Fink from Nanny and Shouty Grandad half way up the M6. Not at Sandbach services this time though, at a lay by chosen my Shouty Grandad. Why would he choose the layby instead of the services? I don't know, I can only think he is saving diesel and wear and tear on the camper van by avoiding the extra 16 miles, yes 16 miles, to turn the campervan round on the M6. Who knows?
Anyway, Haverigg here we come!

Not meant to be

2010-08-09T21:28:00.000+01:00

On Saturday I had decided I would go metal detecting with the club I joined earlier in the year. The club had been recommended to me by a digging pal (much more dedicated than I am) so I took his advice and emailed the organiser. I wrote, "I really enjoy digging but the club I belong to goes to the same places all the time, so I'd like to join yours please." After I had sent the email I noticed a misspelling. I had put 'dogging' instead of 'digging'. Nooooooooooooo. The organiser wrote back, howling with laughter. The registration for the club was closed but he said i had made him laugh so much he was going to let me join.

So I had plucked up the courage to go and meet him and the other members of the club, only to go to my car at 7am to find the above sight greeting me. I changed the wheel but I didn't go digging, I only had one of those 'comedy' spare tyres that you can only do 50mph on, so by the time I would have got there they would have started digging and I would be wandering amongst the cars on my own. Hmm, not a good look considering my previous contact with the club!

Proud mum!

2010-07-19T20:52:00.000+01:00

Little Fink was awarded the highest badge a Cub can get, the Chief Scout's Silver Award at Cubs today. She has worked hard for it and I am very proud of her. She also moves on the Scouts in September.
The parents and Cubs spent the early evening playing Non-Stop Football Cricket in the nearby playing fields. Great fun and I even got 2 runs!
Little Fink is also going to be one of fifteen scouts that travel to Denmark for 10 days next year as a visiting party to the Scout Jamboree in Sweden. They'll camp on the island of Zealand in Denmark and have a day trip to Sweden! She's really looking forward to it.

A Cracking Weekend

2010-07-11T17:02:00.000+01:00

This weekend we were joined by Mr and Mr Fogg (they travel, A LOT). It was Mrs Fogg's birthday and Mr Fink and my wedding anniversary. On Friday night we chatted into the night about life, films and nonsense. On Saturday morning Mr Fink and The Fogg's went to the golf driving range while I took Little Fink horse riding. Everyone had a great time, despite Mrs Fogg ending up with 'wobbly hands'!
Saturday afternoon we went for a walk in the 'local' woods and enjoyed cakes and tea at the little cafe nearby, boy, it was hot! In the evening we took them to the restaurant where I proposed to Mr Fink 8 years ago, Alberto's. What a lovely place, beautiful food, wonderful staff (Alberto is a lot like Manuel from Fawlty Towers but with attitude!) and terrific company. We ate and drank our fill and mooched off into the night to enjoy drinks outside in the garden.
A thoroughly enjoyable, relaxing weekend with good friends. See you all in York, soon! xxx

Lift Off!

2010-07-07T07:59:00.000+01:00

At work yesterday, after 2 weeks without our main 'workhorse' photocopier/printer working, 3 engineer visits and input from the IT guy.... the photocopier was finally fixed.
After it's ordeal I thought it should have a name, I thought long and hard and in the end posted this note on the copier.

"SIMON is fixed, if you break him, you must fix him. (named after an ex-boyfriend who could only do one thing at a time and only worked intermittently.)

Blummin' Cheek

2010-07-01T23:02:00.000+01:00

This evening I went to the local shops (in my car, Laura - the garage that did her MOT wrote the wrong reg. number on the test certificate so I have to take her back to get another one done!) to get fish and chips.
As I returned to my car, I noticed a dad and his daughter getting into their shiny Nissan QashQai which was parked next to mine. "Mind when you open the door." said the man to his daughter.
"Oh don't worry about that, the stickers are all over my car to hide the bumps and scratches." Said I in a jolly tone.
The dad didn't say anything but his look told me it wasn't MY car he was worried about. DOH!

Just stop it!

2010-07-01T22:56:00.000+01:00

This morning at 6am I awoke on a beautiful sunny morning to the sound of the cat being sick on the landing and 4 young magpies taking it in turns to dismantle the safety net around Little Fink's trampoline. I cleared up the cat sick (funny how you get desensitized to things?) then checked on the magpies. They had exhausted the fun to be had in picking lumps of safety foam off the poles around the trampoline (garden looked like it had been snowing!) and were now checking out every nook and cranny for insects and grubs. I was starting to warm to their inquisitive natures when, one of them went into next door's garden, pecked at something on the floor. It was having a great time flicking and pecking this bit of wood, it picked the wood up in it's beak and flew onto my shed roof. It suddenly dawned on me, it wasn't a bit of wood, it was a turd.

The bloody magpies have been stealing dog poos from next door's garden and putting them on my shed roof. Oh good grief!

Pot...Kettle

2010-06-24T22:47:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I skipped dinner and by 9.30pm was decidedly peckish. I went into the kitchen and started to mooch around, looking in the cupboards and the fridge for something yummy and quick to prepare to snack on.
"Make sure you have something healthy to eat." says hubby helpfully.
I finally decided to make some tziki (greek yoghurt, cucumber and mint) and have it with some crackers.
As I turned round to jab him in the ribs with the cucumber knife for being sarcastic I noticed what he had been preparing for himself....
A coke float (dollops if ice-cream in a pint of Coca Cola)!!!!!

Walk With The Stars

2010-06-20T20:11:00.000+01:00

Last week, Astral spent her second week in the local hospice. what a beautiful, serene, 'happy' place. While I was visiting on Monday, I came across a leaflet, "Walk With The Stars" raise money for the hospice by completing a sponsored 5 mile walk. "I'll do it." I thought.
I registered, i set up my sponsor page and as an incentive I said, if I were to get £100 I would do the walk in my pyjamas. The next thing I know, The Foggs (and many others) had sent £100, just to make sure I wore my pyjamas. I said If I were to raise £200 I would carry Graham T Heron round with me on the walk. My work chums pitched in and Graham was on the team. Lastly I said if I raised £400 I would wear the flashing bunny ears. Friends, family and old school chums didn't let me down and the picture shows what I looked like as i set off on my very first sponsored walk.
I was terrified, I didn't know how far 5 miles looked like, could I walk that far? How would I explain if I couldn't make it? Anyway. I met up with Bionic-Woman (had a new knee and a new wrist) and she and I walked the 5 miles. It was hard going for the last little bit and i have a decent sized blister on the ball of my foot which gave my gyp, but I did it. I walk 5 miles in 1 hour 30 minutes and felt a huge sense of achievement. (Mr Fink went to bed early as he had a Father's Day golf game in the morning) so The Glums had kindly offered to 'pick me up' and take me home. I shared my triumph with them and went home to bed.
Just one thing makes me wonder - I wonder what people would have asked me to do for £1000?

Catch Up

2010-05-30T14:31:00.000+01:00

Well, what a busy few weeks.
First up - The Further Adventures Of Shouty Grandad. Every week, three times a week, Shouty grandad goes swimming. Last week he received a verbal warning. "What for?" I hear you cry. Splashing the Lifeguard. I kid you not. Grandad's response was to go and see the manager and tell him the lifeguard should be sacked on the spot. Needless to say the lifeguard is still there (and a little dryer as Grandad has gone on holiday!)

We've been mudlarking again, didn't find anything of note but nanny really enjoyed it. We've enjoyed a great couple of nights out with Silver Surfer and Astral. Once to see Pam Ayres - very funny lady, and once to see Elvis - brilliant. We've celebrated George's 18th birthday - doesn't time fly and it was lovely to catch up with some family I don't get to see half as often as I would like.
Yesterday we saw Little Fink and J1 off to Cub Scout Camp to Blackburn in Lancs. for the week.(see pic above). there were 8 minibuses, 2 lorries and a couple of vans in the convoy. they have masses of activities planned and their progress and daily podcasts can be followed at http://www.leverstockgreenscouts.org.uk/.

Right, I'm off to enjoy the peace and quiet before Mr Fink gets back from golf....it's a hard life!